Sunday, December 30, 2012

The Boy at the Corner Store

{I realized that my poems don't make sense. LOL.}

I pass by that shop everyday.
It's a parlor that offers
Illustrations for your needs.
Honestly, I could care less about the shop;
It never did stand out in a sleepless city like here.
Each and every single time I pass however,
Our eyes have met.
A murky brown colour, one with a sense of mystery to them.
They weren't odd by any means,
They were in fact way too average.

Although his eyes weren't the flashiest, or even the prettiest,
They stood out and shined more than any illustration there.

Perhaps he anticipates my next passing,
And perhaps I anticipate it too.
We're strangers, nothing more, nothing less.
I left without a word.

Will he still be here, in this flashy parlor,
When I turn the corner next time?
I'll learn to greet him
The next time our eyes meet.

Last Goodbye

When we parted ways,
You showed me a lively smile
That told me it was okay to leave you.
But was it really?
You worked hard for the both of us,
Pushing your body and mind past its limits.
So why was saying goodbye so easy?
As I watched you turn away from me,
Your back seemed smaller that it was before.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Why do I Cry?

In times of weakness,
Tears are shed.
In moments of frustration,
Tears are wept.
To grieve of a death
Brings sorrow and tears.
Despite what I'm told
Of tears and sadness
Being our greatest weakness,
I don't believe so.
Although they show
The "coward" in us all,
They express an inborn human emotion,
So innate, so hidden from the word.
We hide our pain in secret,
Hoping to not be viewed as "weak".
But the more we repress them,
The harder they will fall.
It takes great courage
To cry in front of others,
And it takes a human
To mourn for the life of others
And to feel their pain,
As well as your own.

Why do I cry?
I cry because I am human.


I know you mean well
But it hurts even more that way.
I'll listen to your words
And I'll try to believe
But in the end
Your words bring poison;
Although they hurt me immensely
I'm deathly attached to them.

Your actions and words
Will be the death of me
If you were to take them away.

Friday, December 14, 2012

The Sky and the Earth Below

{Uh hi. Sorry I. Finals. OTL. Yesterday, it rained where I lived~ That's actually very unusual because of WHERE I live; the weather here is usually 110F 95% - 99% of the time. So yeah. ;w;.}

On rare nights the sky
Cries out on to the earth
Leaving its tears behind.
It floods the ground below
With no care about
Who would get hurt in the process.
Perhaps it was heartbroken
Or perhaps it was a dreary day.
It's so strong, so caring,
Not daring to show
Its weakness to others.
On those rare days
It cries, letting its
Frustrations and fears out.
And so the tormented sky
Cries alone in the night.

Tuesday, December 4, 2012


{Hi guys Finals are coming closer I'm scared I've never taken them before WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO STUDY FOR OH MY GOD.}

Further, further away
The clouds will soar
And the birds will fly.
The sun will rise
On each and every day
And the stars will shine
On each passing night.
But the rain will always fall
Back down to earth.
Slowly, they drop back onto
The land they tried to escape
Once long before.
Perhaps they just didn't want
To be left behind in such a cruel world
Without their friends - the stars, the sun, the clouds - around.
But with each fall they realize
There is no place for them
In the happy sky above.

Thursday, November 22, 2012


Softly, gently, whisper in my ears
The words you'd never say again
In a million years.
let me hear the tone
That you put on
And let me drown in the pleasure.
Show me the expressions you hide
And the smiles you mask
Whenever you're by my side.

I act as if you love me,
Silly I know.
But if you felt the same as I do,
This idea wouldn't be so far-fetched, you see.

Monday, November 19, 2012


Although I act like I don't care,
And I speak as if I'm indifferent,
The truth is... I wish to be in the same position as you.
I want to be able to laugh with you and with others,
Share jokes that only we'd be able to answer,
And have memories and bonds that showed our history together.
I long for a friendship to form between us.
Conversations that last for hours,
Laughs that would hurt,
Honestly, I wish I could experience those.
I try to not get hurt whenever I'm left out,
But in reality, I want to be inside your circle of friends.
I'm jealous of that... That inner circle you're connected with
And I only wish that could be me.
I've tried, time and time again, to be like you,
To be with friends... But it was all to no prevail.
Why try now when I know the outcome:
I'll only be replaced?

Tuesday, November 13, 2012


{I'm sorry? I find myself repeating that sentence more than I should. ;-;. Also. I SHOULD HAVE DONE NANOWRIMO.}

"Please, just bare with it for now."
"When you're older, you can do whatever you want!"
"You have no right to complain."

They say that the future holds nothing but happiness,
But I find that a horrible, gigantic lie.
While it may be true that tomorrow holds a better today,
The future can still be grim.
Who's to say that when we grow up our future will be perfect?

Although I've been told many times before to
Let go of such a dark outlook on life, I just... Can't.
A child was born and raised just hoping for a better life,
And that child grew up into a person who knows
How horrendous the future will truly be and that an
Optimistic mindset... Won't be enough to prepare you for failure.

Although a child was born,
Her hopes were dashed once the world shows its true colours.
In place of that child,
An emotionless person who sees the negative and not the positive sides of things
Was born.


{Guys it's exactly 1:10am and I'm still not done with homework. : ). Brb shooting self----. Anyways... I'm so tired. ;-;. I just want to sleepppp. And I really don't want to go to school this week. Or next week. Or any week. ; 3;. Here, have a story I wrote for another website.  /sobs. OH. Someone please tell me: Why is writing about "love" so... Easy? Lolol, I've been trying to refrain from using that as a topic but I find it as one of the easiest go-to subjects to write about... OH WELL BACK TO DOING A STUDY GUIDE ON OSMOSIS AND DIFFUSION YEAH!}

   "Mom, did you ever... Like anyone when you were fifteen?"
   "Who hasn't? Come to think of it... You're turning fifteen tomorrow, aren't you? You'll be at the age when my first love ended!" Chuckling, she added, "Honestly, I wouldn't be the same if that didn't happen to me then."
   The woman reminisced about her teenage years, remembering the sights, sounds, and smells she encountered during her years as a student. Looking at her bright-eyed daughter who was still so pure and innocent, seeming as if she had never gotten hurt before, the woman suddenly saw herself in her child. Not only were the facial features similar, but the air the child gave off, it was very much like the feeling the woman gave off years before - a gentle, kind presence that didn't know the meaning of heartbreak. 
   "Would you like to hear how my first love ended?" The woman asked.
   The child smiled, full of curiosity and wonder as to what her mother was like and who she loved when she was a teenager. Slowly the woman smiled, the answer evident on the child's face. It was clear to her that her daughter wanted to know of the past, and more about her mother.
   "Alright! This might be a long one though, so try to stay awake! It all started when I was fourteen..." The woman's voice grew warmer, and she closed her eyes to relive her memories.
   "My first love wasn't like any other boy. He was clumsy, a coward, and didn't have any aspects that made him stand out from the crowd. Maybe that's why I liked him. Seeing boys that were perfect all day from the television and magazines, I guess I felt that 'perfect' boys were just... Too ordinary? They lost their appeal once I noticed that most of them had rotten personalities. This man however... He was different. He was genuinely nice to everyone he met, even the ones who picked on him. Those types of boys are rare, I tell you! Compared to your father, this man was a lot nicer. I met him through my school's Writing Club. In each club, there will always be at least one person who sits alone in the corner and doesn't interact with people and... He was that one person. I remember when I first met him, he had his head buried in his journal, jotting down whatever he could think of. His dark brown, shaggy hair covered his eyes - I later found out he had the most beautiful, green eyes I had ever seen - and I didn't like him at all. He was a freak; he had friends but they were all very... Odd. Needless to say, I avoided him at the beginning of Writing Club. The only reason I started talking to him was because I had the chance to read what he wrote. His writing style was uncanny. It was sad, yet happy. Warm, but cold. It showed how he depicted things through his eyes. It told us of just how much he enjoyed life; although the things in between hurt him, he would always write about how he loved that part of life too. He saw the world from a different perspective; he was neither an optimist nor a pessimist. The moment I read his stories, I was captured. Soon after, I started to talk to him more, and I finally got to know the boy with the green eyes. Turns out, he wasn't as weird as I had perceived. He was just quiet and shy. In my mind, he was that antisocial kid who thought high school was a bore and just wanted out of it. But in the end, he wasn't like that in the slightest - he loved school and the thought of making friends. We started talking more during the club and school day. It even got to the point where the two of us would walk home together! I fell in love with his personality and I wanted so desperately to tell him... But I couldn't. I was so afraid that he wouldn't like me back or that our relationship would be broken. Instead of confronting my fears like I should had done, I ended up succumbing to them and keeping my relationship with him the same. Summer vacation was right around the corner and at that point, we were inseparable. I remember on the day of my fifteenth birthday, the two of us had planned to meet up the weekend school ended on Saturday at three in the afternoon. I was elated. This would have been our first 'date' together! The few days before our meeting I coordinated my outfit multiple times; I just couldn't find the right outfit to wear. Finally, I decided on a simple white dress that reminded me of him - he was pure, just like the colour white. I arrived at the meeting spot half an hour early, hoping to impress him when he showed up. As the time drew closer to three, my heart began to pound, the pounds gaining speed as the minute hand ticked toward the twelve. It was finally three!
   I waited for an hour, holding on to the last bit of hope I could, just wondering when he would arrive. Still, I kept waiting for him, eventually waiting for two hours for him to come. 
   He never did.
   I was hurt. It couldn't have been possible for him to forget our plan so easily, was it? It wasn't that long since school was over; school only ended just three days prior. That day, I experienced firsthand how it felt to be stood up. Dejected, I walked home, my head down low. As soon as I stepped into my house and walked into my room, I cried. It was a petty reason to cry, but it was still a reason. The rest of the summer flew by without me talking to him again.
   Once school started, I still couldn't get over him. I looked for him around campus and in Writing Club, but he was nowhere to be found. None of his friends could tell me where he was either. He just... Disappeared. It was as if he was carried away by the wind. Knowing me, I don't take no for an answer. I never did, and I never will. That day, I walked to his house, hoping to see where he was. Once I got there I was greeted by his mother who... Aged a lot. Just a few months earlier she was very animated despite her age and now... Her head was covered in grey hairs and he body seemed too frail. She was like a twig; I was afraid that if I put any pressure on her she would snap in half. Thankfully she remembered me - it would have been awkward if she forgot! She invited me in and made me my favourite tea, Early Grey. We chatted, and for a second, her expression brightened. A smile crept onto her face and I finally saw the woman she once was before summer vacation came. After a while, I decided to ask her about him and where he was and... That's when things took a turn for the worse. Her expression dropped and it seemed like she was near tears. And that was when I found out why he couldn't meet me that Saturday afternoon. He was crossing the street when a driver crossed a red light and hit him. He died that day."
   Tears began to fall from the woman's eyes. She bit her lip, hoping to suppress them. However, the more she tried, the easier it was for them to fall. At that point, she couldn't stop. The tears kept falling, almost as if to make up for the time she lost not crying. Recollecting her thoughts, the woman continued on with her story, the tears still rolling down her cheeks.
   "I was shocked... Honestly. His mother didn't blame me at all despite the fact that he was going to meet me. Although she accepted his death she still couldn't handle the fact that she outlived her own child. If you died before me, I wouldn't know what to do. The shock was too much for me. At the time, I couldn't cry because the thought that he was dead was far too great for my mind to comprehend. I suddenly felt the urge to leave the house, but before I could reach the door, his mother stopped me. She told me to wait a few minutes while she went to get something. When she came back, she handed me a box. She told me that her son wanted to give me that on the day he died and that I should take it. I accepted the gift from her hands and said my goodbyes, as well as my apology for bringing up a painful memory, and with that, I ran toward my house. I rushed into my room, still dazed about what happened to him, and completely forgot about the box. When I finally realized that it was in my hand, I plucked all of my courage and opened it carefully, making sure not to destroy it. Inside the box was a necklace. It had my favourite flower, the rose, in my favourite colour, mint. I caressed it in my hand, and suddenly, the fact that he was dead hit me. I could never see him again. I could never talk to him again. Joke with him. Laugh with him. I couldn't do any of the things that were so normal between us again. He was gone."
   The woman stopped and wiped the excess water away from her eyes; she had stopped crying, but the tears weren't dry yet. Sucking in a deep breath, the woman finished off her story.
   "And that was how my first love ended. What do you think?" She looked at her daughter, who's eyes were rimmed with tears.
   "Is that really how it ends? There wasn't a happy ending to it?" The daughter replied, sniffling.
   "Unfortunately, yes. You see... Sometimes there are no happy endings. Unlike the characters in the stories society gives you, life doesn't offer happy endings. Sometimes, life won't work out like how we want it to, and sometimes, it will. Although my first love didn't have an amazing ending, I have one now. I have you, and I have your father. You two make up my 'happy ending'. Like I said before, if I hadn't met my first love or experienced the things I did back then, I would have never been able to become the person I am today. This may be hard to understand at your age, but I promise, in the future, you'll understand everything."
   The woman smiled at her daughter and arose from her seat. Walking towards the kitchen, she played with her rose-shaped pendant necklace, rolling it around in her fingers.
   "Honey, I'm making tea now. Would you like any? I'm sure that after that story you'd like to have something refreshing."
   "What kind?" Asked the daughter, peaking her head out of the top of the couch. 
   The woman let out a soft chuckle and replied, "Early Grey Tea."

Monday, November 5, 2012


She chases your shadow in hopes
That one of these days, you'll turn around and acknowledge her.
But... She knows that all will be in vain.

You're someone out of her reach,
Someone who is capable of doing things
She could never accomplish.
As you take a step forwards, all she can do
Is catch up, and hope to not fall so far behind.
While you're moving towards your dreams,
She's just hoping that you won't leave her behind.
She's... Trying to prevent the inevitable, really.

She knows that soon, you won't be in her reach.
Soon... You'll be on another level,
A level too far from hers.
But she can't stop what she already started.
That's why, until she can't see you anymore,
Can't reach or speak to you anymore,
She'll keep chasing your shadow
In hopes that one day you'll be hers.

Thursday, November 1, 2012

Untitled 3.

{Today marks the day I cried with my friend.}

A familiar face, nothing more.
But when I close my eyes
I can still remember the memories we shared.

Those times when we laughed,
Not caring who heard.
And those moments we smiled,
Not saying a word.

We joked, laughed, talked.
All on the same subjects.
Our conversations were different,
Ranging from serious to hilarious topics.
We were happy.

Now, we pass by each other each day
Without any form of acknowledgement.
We've become strangers so fast,
It's a bit frightening don't you think?
It's as if the only way to tell
That we were once friends is from our memories.
Tell me, do you even remember them?

We once had a past together.
I'm not sure who broke it apart - was it me?
I just hope you didn't completely forget.
Even though I remember everything,
I'll act like I know nothing the next time I see you.

Tuesday, October 30, 2012


I'm worried that my future self will forget my current morals.
Sorry, but the lifestyle you may live at that point in time isn't "mine".
Please, for the sake of us, remember our current goals and dreams.
Forgive and forget are key to friends - are you making them now?
Me... I'm still the same I just hope we changed for the better.
For our family to still respect us, make good companions.
Being level-headed will help you, us really, in the long run.
Weak-minded... If you still are that is... Won't help - good luck Sandy.

Friday, October 26, 2012


{Because I get this feel all the time and I can't.}

That smile, it kills me inside.
Don't direct it to another girl,
Only show that face when you're with me.

Almost like a child who receives a toy,
That look provides me sustenance, the energy to live.
It's become something I can't live without.
It's become something I want to keep with me.
But what if you start to show that smile,
A private expression between the two of us,
To another person?

She's prettier than me, smarter too.
She's everything I'm not – athletic, graceful, funny, you name it.
I wouldn't be surprised if you fell for her;
She has everything... You would look for in a girl.
It's like she's the majestic and beautiful swan
And I'm the ugly duckling in the stories and fantasies given to children.
Except this time, the ugly duckling doesn't have a happy ending.

Please, just don't be closer to her than you are to me.
Don't show her your secret facial expressions
Or the voices you make when it's just the two of us.
Don't include her in our inside jokes,
Or tell them to her first and exclude me.
Please... Don't replace me.

Wednesday, October 3, 2012


{I hate starting things with pronouns---}

You're so brights, so smart, so liked.
Whereas I'm the complete opposite.
How did we ever become friends?

I want to be like you, capable of
Laughing among friends and even able to make them.
I want to stand on the same platform as you,
No one being placed on a a higher pedestal; just.. an equal footing.
Yet I know I'll never be able to reach you.
You're simply too bright, and I'm just too dull.
Our two paths might never cross again in the future.
This incident where we... Became friends was a once in a lifetime occurrence,
I'm sure of it.

Maybe in the future we'll meet again
And stand on the same patch of grass.
Maybe then we'll finally have our paths cross yet again, and this time, not because of a fluke.
Maybe then... We can look each other in the eye in public.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Death's Doors.

{I'm sorry this was saved on my phone for so long and I never had the chance to update this blog---}

    I wonder how people knocking on death's doors think and feel before dying. Do they realize jut what is happening to them the moments before death? Or are they shown a pleasant dream, one where they are reliving their happiest memory or living the future they could never see... Could never have? Could it be that up to their very last breath, they are fighting to stay alive, stealing gasps of air whenever they could? Despite all the pain that life had brought them, those people put in all the effort they could before breathing became too much. I wonder... To they know how their family, their kin, must have felt? Could they have at least sensed what was happening around the room, every corner emitting tears and a want for solace? Or were they only vaguely aware of that matter, much more interested in the utopia that was offered to them seconds before? And in that final moment before they crossed over to the land of the dead, are they pulled back into reality and shown their family crowding around them, each of them crying and begging them not to go? Maybe it's at that moment that the person suddenly reaches an epiphany, that death isn't something that you should want. Surrounded by the tears, the sobs, and the emotional atmosphere, the person doesn't want their story to continue on at that path but... It's too late. The heart gives away, and the blood flow and senses come to a slow stop. With that last image burned in their mind, did the person die with regret?

Wednesday, September 19, 2012


I'm tired of waiting for that
One special day where
I can finally see and speak to you,
That one day later in life where
You're right here, right beside me again.
Yet... Later never comes.

I long for the moment to go back to where
My eyes were transfixed on your back,
Your body blocking out the harsh and cruel
Things the world had to offer to me.
The protection, the shield that I need so desperately right now,
Where is it?

I yearn for the day when my world becomes balanced again.
When you're right by my side, within arm's reach.
I crave for those memories to become reality once more,
And for these tears to be replaced with smiles.
I wish for the day when I can joyfully call you my father again
Without the limitations of death to stop me.
If only I didn't want these things to happen so much.
Maybe then the "later" would come sooner.

Tuesday, September 18, 2012


A simple hello.
A wave here, a wave there.
These things don't make us friends.

If “friends” are made through greetings
That any person could do to anyone
They had met earlier in the years,
Doesn't that make everyone friends?
What would you call those friends
That are /truly/ your friends then?

Although I want to believe that
We are more than just acquaintances,
The fact that our interactions are
Nothing but greetings makes me
A bit nervous.
Maybe one of these days one of us
Will strike up a conversation in which
We can both chat and talk about our lives.

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Slow Down.

{Sorry, I just realized this doesn't make sense. OTL. I'm really sick right now and can't think properly.}

Slow down,
Hold your breath.
Take in all the sights, smells,
And memories.
Close your eyes,
And listen.

Time goes by too fast.
Instead of worrying about
The past, make haste towards the future.
Petty regrets of the past are by far the worst,
And are the kinds you can't fix.
But instead of wondering, "I shouldn't have done that,"
Or, "What was I thinking?"
Change your thinking by
Improving yourself for the future.

Don't rush everything
For the sake of growing up.
To be honest, growing up isn't
That fun. Trust me, I had the the same mindset as you.
I'd... Give anything to turn back time.
In order for you not to have the same
Regrets as I do,
I just hope that you'll listen to me,
And not ignore me like the others.

Thursday, August 16, 2012


{Hi um high school stole me. Essays and tests consumed me. Friends kind of ditched me. Has never felt so out of place among people my age. I also caught a cold RIGHT when the second week of school started on Monday, so I think people think I'm permanently sick or something. Lawlawlawl. I keep having coughing fits in the middle of class and during lectures. And because of that, the boys who sit next to me in Health keep asking me if I'm alright. LOL. And I have what, three quizzes and one essay test tomorrow to finish. If I don't  finish the essay in time I get around 60-0%. HAHA NO PRESSURE RIGHT? No re-dos on the test either. Oh my-----}

If the use of fear was used against you,
How long could you last
Until you broke down
Because of that test of endurance?

Whether it be your biggest or
Your smallest fear could
You say with pride that you
Did not succumb to being
Crushed by your worst nightmares?

No matter how long you hold on,
There will always be something far worse
To scare you in the future.
The question is though:
Are you strong enough to
Pull through all of that?

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Friends to Acquaintances.

{Jghfuhf. My phone deleted the note I had of this again. TT TT. In other news, ugh. High school is starting. I'M GOING TO DIE-----}

I wonder how long it's been
Since I talked to you this way.
That familiarity we once had
Has long since disappeared due
To the passing time and
Our changing personalities.
How are you now?

We used to be friends,
But even the best of friends grow apart.
Our personalities and common interests
Changed, and finally, a rift was formed.
No longer were we "friends".
At most, we were now acquaintances.
Are your new friends nice?
Are you happier with them?
Although your current friends
Never accepted nor liked me, I'm just
Glad they liked you.

I may call you a hypocrite for
Becoming friends with
The people you vowed to never
Get close to and for changing
Your personality to "fit in"
With the popular kids but in truth... Aren't I the same?
I may nag about just how much
People shouldn't change but in
The long run, I do that more than anything.
In truth... I may just be the biggest hypocrite of all.

In this world, the only way to make friends
Is to either be yourself or to change yourself to suit their liking.
Although the first is the better option, the second
Is unfortunately, usually what most people pick.
In the end, you and I fell victims to society.

Dear friend, how are you now?
Now that time has passed, do we see eye to eye?
Are you finally showing your true self
In front of your current friends?
Or are you still a victim of society?

Sunday, July 29, 2012

Stormy Night.

The storm comes close,
The night becomes endless.
With no one to help comfort me,
I'll rely on the thunder to
Lull me away to my dreams.

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Sleeping Position (Memory).

{I'm sorry for all of the father posts. OTL. This should pass relatively soon though; I'm feeling a bit emotional this month because of how his birthday was just five days ago. My father always had a habit of crossing his arms over his chest when he slept at night.}

    "Daddy, why do you sleep with your arms folded on your chest?"
    "It's so that if I die in my sleep I'll be prepared and presentable..."

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Soaring through the Sky.

Soaring through the sky
High above the damage and destruction
Humans have instilled on earth
Let's try to at least preserve
This still beautiful part of the world.

Although light pollution and
Green house gases have changed
The sky into a near unrecognizable state,
We are still able to change the
Fate of the sky - provided we act fast.

Let's stop emitting those putrid
Gases that intend to destroy the air,
And start replanting the
Trees that give fresh air.
By cutting off the lights, the stars
Will shine once again through the night sky.

Although this may be a slow
Method, the effect of it will
Be big; wouldn't it?

Saturday, July 14, 2012


{Just got back from my trip~ So tired. @_@. I might have ad-libbed just a little on the red eye flight - we never went on one before. xD}

There was once a time
Long ago where we were happy,
And when nothing else mattered.

We looked at the stars on
Our red eye flight,
Our voices semi drowned
By the purr of the airplane.
The stars glistened and gleamed,
Far brighter than any we had ever seen.
No one complained,
No one interrupted.
As our fingers touched the window,
We pointed out the stars and the moon,
One thing was certain:
We were happy.

It's amazing how time
Can change so much
In as little as six years.

Thursday, July 5, 2012


{NBEFORE: "Did this happen to you?" No, it didn't; I had tried to write in that perspective. ;-;. ANYWAYS... I hate my phone. I was in the middle of writing this, and then it deleted all of the stanzas I had  so far. -____-}

You were so strong, so kind, so caring.
Nothing in the world could possibly stop you.
You were invincible.
Yet... Even the strongest of the strong crumbles.

Each day was a war;
Every struggle created by /them/ in order to
Satisfy their fun and fulfill them of their needs.
Inflicting many taunts, many jokes, so many struggles...
Life was a living hell each day wasn't it?

Others ignored your desperate cries for help
In fear that they would be next.
Your screams, echoing loud and clear, were
Swept aside, dying out as your voice grew hoarse and your throat burned.
Only your dreams brought salvation.

Adults won't listen, brushing it off as a cry for attention.
The faculty wants the best school; complaints of bullying won't cut it.
Suddenly, no adult seems... Trustworthy.

Frustrated over everything,
The bullies, the people who ignored your cries,
The adults who chose not to get involved, you wanted it all over.
You took your life.
And now, it is all over.
As Homer once said,
"Now he sleeps at peace forgetful of what he has suffered."

Now everyones eyes are opened.
They see just how bad society was to you,
And now fingers are pointed to just who is at fault.
But... Why must this be seen only after your death?
Why were they so oblivious to your situation even though
They watched it all happen each day?
Why does no one act as the perpetrator, but instead the victim?
Can't they tell they are all at fault?

Although I knew that had happened to you,
I chose to look into the future, ignoring your talk on it... Like the others.
I'm no better than everyone else huh?
I'm sorry.

Saturday, June 30, 2012

Words Never Whispered.

{My father died about a year ago. I thought that given the time, I had gotten over it, but I guess not? I'm not quite sure what happened... I just started crying at around 3:30am because of those memories. But I do know one thing: I regret not spending enough time with him. Part of it was because he worked constantly, and another part was because I was still a child; in my childish mind I thought he would never leave, even though I feared death because it had the power to take away my loved ones ever since I was five.}

I built myself to be so strong,
So indestructible under any circumstance.
Yet... Only one memory of you is
Enough to tear me apart.

We weren't close; in fact,
We were rather distanced.
Our conversations were neither
Deep nor meaningful - they were just...
Conversing placed between us.
Back then they were nothing, a daily occurence.
Yet now I hold them valuable,
Praying to never forget them.
If only I treasured them more back then.

The memories I have of you,
So strong yet weak to a certain extent,
Wise beyond your years, yet holding a child-like ease,
Are fleeting away from me.
No longer can I immediately think of your voice, your laugh...
I can only imitate it with uncertainty.

The photos of us together, less than a handful,
Are lost. Why did I not think of taking any?
Why was I so oblivious to this, only recognizing the want to now?

Why weren't we closer?
Was it because you were a workaholic, hoping to gain a better
Life for your children that you pushed us all away?
Or was it because I was a child you regret?
We had our moments, but I just wish there was more.

"I miss you, I love you.
Have a good day.
Good morning, good night."
Simple phrases that I miss saying... To you.
What onced seemed like a ritual is now
A want, a desire to be done.
I wish you could hear me, see me.
Then I could tell you all the things I had wanted to say,
All the things I keep bottled up, trapped, inside, me.
But now that can never be.
Now I can never say these words to you,
No matter how hard I try.

Wednesday, June 27, 2012


{So I finally saw the video of the bus monitor being bullied by teenagers. I don't remember EVER being that rude when I was around their age. And even now I don't think I'm like that. Growing up I was taught to be respectful to elders, not call them a "fatass" or giving them the finger every second. If I wasn't respectful enough? A slap on the arm. Even if my parents' way of teaching was a bit... Harsh, it worked didn't it? At least I have the decency to be nice to the elderly. Although the whole thing may be resolved, or at the most semi resolved, now, those children still made a huge negative impact to society. No one should harass someone, regardless of age, because of their weight, sexuality, looks, or mentally challenged they are.}

There may be doubts,
There may be worries.
Although fear may overcome you
At the darkest of times, I just want you to
Be able to reach towards your dreams.

Don't worry about the others who may bring you down,
Rather, start thinking about what to do once you get to 
The finish line.

Friday, June 22, 2012


We aren't friends.
We are just acquaintances with a background.

In the past, the times we
Spent together were times to be valued,
But now that we've both grown up, our
Friendship has deteriorated into nothingness.
It may have been memorable in the past,
But now with the passing times and
Changing seasons, our time became wasted.

Maybe it was my fault, or was it yours?
No... It was both our faults; we let this happen, 
Knowing the consequences.
We let go of the one strand of friendship we
Both had left for each other, letting it fall downwards,
Into the deep abyss.

Whenever I look back at our times together,
A pang will appear in my heart but I will be able to brush it away.
But the regret and memories will always surface
Whenever I see your face.
The face of a mere person I used to
Be close to.

Thursday, June 21, 2012

Seeing Through Layers.

Behind a human's smiling face is
A sad, frowning child.
But because we are all given skills
That are not out of this world,
None of us can tell when others are
Hiding their true emotions.
If only we, as people, were given
X-ray like vision in order to see
Through different layers of the human's mind.
Maybe then a different society would rise.

Saturday, June 16, 2012


{I remember when I was younger, the first two friends I ever tried to be friends with completely blew me off. The first one trusted everyone /but/ me, and the second one tried to steal all of my friends and my crush. Because of their well... Bitchy attitude, I just repressed those memories. But at times, I wonder... How are they now? Do they still bare the "I'm better than you. Why should you have more friends? Why should I trust you?" attitude, or are they an entirely different person? And then, do they regret ever having met me? It's funny how my mind likes to dwell on questions that have no answers when I don't even remember one of the girl's name. xD}

One new message.
"Hello, how are you?"
An old acquaintance, a friend
From what seems as if a far away time.
An innocent question I'm sure, but
No matter how many times I roll it over in
My mind, I just can't shake off the memories
Of all that occurred before you broke off our communication.
Do I tell you all of it now? It's finally time to let it all out.
Staring at the blank screen, transfixed at the message and
The blinking cursor, I try my best to convey my emotions.

Although I want to tell them just how much
They have hurt my feelings, just how many
Sleepless nights I had over their betrayal,
My only response to their spontaneous message is,
"I'm fine. How have you been doing?"

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Creating Our World.

{So I was at the library today! I was going upstairs when this Hispanic family of 5+ looked at me and the mother murmured, "Don't talk to her. She's dangerous." to her children, then proceeded to glare at me, even hushing her children when they tried to question her about what she had just said. Honey, I'm not planning to bomb America. I could care less about ruining this country. Also. I KNOW ENGLISH. I don't know why so many people believe that I don't understand a hint of English. -_-. This is the second time people have told their children not to talk to me because I'm apparently "dangerous". LOLOL. What ever happened to keeping those thoughts to yourself?}

Away from this destruction,
Away from this wasteland we call home,
Let's run away.
Instead of being part of this dystopian society,
Let's create our own perfect world,
A place we deem incredible.
Rather than fall under their rule, be commanded
To do their bidding each and every day,
I want to be able to run free on this vast land and
Be able to show my children this world I created -
Without the help of society's views to criticize it and
Shape it in to the world we know now.
Is that so much to ask for?

Tuesday, June 12, 2012


{Top 10 languages I need to get better in/learn.
  1. Cantonese. I'm so bad at it right now. I bet all of my cousins think that I forgot the language. xD.
  2. Korean. Only because of Song Joong Ki. Andddd JB and JR. Ilovethosethree. @o@
  3. Mandarin. Seriously, both my parents know this language, something that could be incredibly beneficial to our future, yet they decide to teach their children Cantonese?
  4. Latin. Well... Just because. xD.
  5. French. Same as above. I've always loved those two languages, so why not?
  6. Hakka. Again, both of my parents know this. Why not teach it!?
  7. Japanese. I actually have no reason for this, I guess so that it looks better in resumes? I'mfourteenwhyamIthinkingofjobs.
  8. German. I'm turning more in to my brother. German is actually a pretty interesting language and well... If I do stick to my plans for college, I'll need it. ;-;
  9. English. This may sound funny, but I do need to improve my English. I get so confused with the English language and there are some terms that I should know, but don't (ex. What is noon? What is dawn? I got math questions marked wrong because I didn't know what times those were).
  10. Arabic. Again, better resume!
What are your top 10?}

The key to communication.
A vital necessity needed in this day and age.
In order to be familiar and work
Your way around this world, knowing
A universal language will be the utmost
Beneficial to your survival during your time here.

Whether it be for job interviews or day to day
Conversing, languages are set up in order to
Stop confusion during an oral conversation.

However, the line between right and wrong
For this language is blurred, deteriorating every
Second the language is used.
Why is this?
Can't we as humans learn to protect at least
One thing?
Why shorten the grammar and spelling simply
To save space?
Setting a bad example for future generations,
This once perfect language will now be in
Ruins, thanks to our current society of sloths.

Saturday, June 9, 2012


{Sometimes I wish I wasn't blood related to my sister. When I was younger, she would call me rude names, get mad at me for the dumbest things, ignore and yell at me for talking to her, scream her head off when I brushed my hand against her, and looked at me with eyes that shouted that I should have never been born. Now she expects me to have a positive outlook on the following weeks with her. How do I do that to someone who treated me as an animal? My self esteem is already in the negatives thanks to her and I can't smile a genuine smile. But when I try to blame all this on her, I can't. Maybe I should have never been born...}

To separate one's self from others
Is an act to be alone, to be apart from them.
But in reality, all they ever want is to be with someone.

In order to not get hurt, in order to
Not get attached to others, pushing them
Away is the best thing to do.
But in reality, I just...
I don't want to be alone.

Diving in.

{I'm running out of ideas for thisssss. OTL. TT-TT}

Let's dive under water and have
All of our physical faults masked.
Blocking out the features that others judge,
Can we live our lives better?

In order to stop the useless rumours
From hurting others because of their insecurities,
Let's stop it by going under and hiding the
Faults that others can easily see.
Just what are we waiting for?
It's time to dive in.

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Next to You.

{HOT GIRLS WE GOT PROBLEMS TOO, WE'RE JUST LIKE YOU EXCEPT WE'RE HOT. /Shot, killed, butchered, and thrown away.}

Your glance follows her, trailing her every move.
A smile that's never shown to others, is shown
When you talk to her.
Please don't say that you don't love her.
It's obvious by the way you act.
I should know; I've always looked your way.

It hurts to see this sad, sad truth be unveiled.
But... As long as you're happy, I'm happy... Right?
Although others can live with that, it will always
Be a lie in my mind.

Truth be told, I'd rather be the one beside you,
Walking side by side, harmonizing in footsteps.
But alas, it was never meant to be.
I may curse the two of you to oblivion, cry my
Eyes out to get over this, yet still manage to
Smile when you two are around... But in truth...
I just want to be next to you.
Is that so much to ask?

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Happy Endings.

{I'm too negative for my own good.}

He likes her, you like him.
Just the way the story goes.
No happy endings or a sudden
Twist of fate caused by a meeting.
And that's the way it has always been.
A story that involves a broken heart.

If only this story could be tweaked
And edited to fit the desired outcome.
Maybe then a happy ending will form.
In an unjust world, stories like this
Appear all the time; whether we like it or not.
You like him, yet he likes her.
Just what is this unhappy ending?

Saturday, June 2, 2012


Just who am I?
Is this smile really real?
Or is it just a facade, put on
In order to "fit in" with the others?

Although everyone is "smiling",
Just how many of those people smile
A genuine smile?
How many of them can truly say that
They are always happy when smiling?

Through today's society and life,
A fake smile is always around.
Are you one of the holders of
That type of smile?

Thursday, May 31, 2012

Reality and Fantasy.

To the point where the line
Separating reality and fantasy are blurred,
Let's find out own happy ending.

Others may reject us, shun us, or
Even try their best to separate us,
But please, don't falter to their demands.

In order to find the perfect place,
Let's cross the borders that separate
"Fun" and "normal".
I'm sure that some day, we will find
That perfect society meant for us.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

A Forced Dream.

{People need to learn how to spell when they use graffiti on walls. -_-}

"Doctors are always the better option."
"Any other job is irrelevant."
"Look at your cousins! They are successful."

Goals that weren't meant to be mine,
Were suddenly forced upon me.
Dreams that belonged to my parents became
Things that were given to me.
My future, the one deciding factor of my life,
Was suddenly made to be what my parents
Had wanted for their future.

In order to excel and to earn 
The most money, the best money,
Academically, failure was not an option.
An unsaid pressure was placed, only
To be loosened when other situations
Were suddenly placed on the board.

Although the pressure of exceeding
My family's expectations was an idea
I wholeheartedly rejected, it's suddenly become
A habit; something I just can't break out of.
Maybe it's better to just conform to their wish?

Throughout the years I've warmed up to the
Thought of being a doctor, to the point where
I would like to pursue the career path.
Will I be able to succeed in this choice though?

Once a forced dream, the path of a surgeon
Was once a distant goal thought up by my parents.
However, that dream has now become
The one thing I strive to do well in.

Friday, May 25, 2012

The Guest.

{Ahh, I feel like I'm going to slap someone in anger soon. People at school, both the faculty and the students, are so... Annoying? Over dramatic? Stupid? Honestly, I just want to stop being nice to them; if they think they can be a jerk yet still expect me to smile and disregard their comments, who are they kidding? I just want this school year to end.}

The wind blew, flinging a whirlwind
Of sand and rocks to the window.
Although the outside environment
Was noisy, restless, chaotic,
The interior of the building was
Silent, a thick atmosphere filling the air.
The storm raged on and on,
Until finally, there was a knock at the door.

The father, the main arc of the family,
Quickly opens the door, greeting the
Unfamiliar guest with urgency in his voice,
Ushering the man to step in to the house.
However, before the guest could be led
To the living room where the majority
Of the family was, a trigger was pulled.

Shot at the heart, the father soon was not able to breathe.
As the family rushed to the scene,
They see what has become of
Their father, her husband, in that very moment.
They ran.

Gun powder landed everywhere,
Covering the furniture, dirtying the floor.
The once lively house was now covered
In blood, the family portraits stained with
A horrid, deep red substance.

"Four dead, one more to go."
The youngest daughter, a five year old,
Hides under her bed, hoping not to be found.
"Come out come out wherever you are!"
Taunted the murderer, feeling at ease with
His latest doings.
Unfortunately, the little girl, being as young as she is,
Let out a whimper, and was immediately found.
One final bang was heard, followed by
The creaking of the back door slamming shut.

The storm was still brewing outside,
Blocking out any noise that could be heard
From the inside of the house.
Those screams, loud and haunting,
Suddenly ceased at the dawn of the new day.

And then everything went quiet.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

If you...

{I... I think I did good on the audition. @w@. That, or the teacher loves to give mixed signals. xD}

No matter what, I'll always be
Your follower, helping you in
The best way I can for you to
Find your success.

If you become a hideous creature,
I'll follow you, looking for a cure.
If you become a star, I'll
Look for different ways to catch up
To your ever glowing hue.
If you decide to leave me in order
To follow your dreams and to
Seek your fortune, so be it.
I won't stop you from leaving me... Us.
But just know that I'll always
Follow you, even to the depths of Hell and back.

Maybe we grew apart during our
Time together; we found out how the other
Truly acts and how the other truly feels.
Or maybe we just didn't connect as we thought we did.
What ever the reasoning, it won't ever change
The feelings that I feel, and have always felt, for you.

If you become a an elderly man,
I'll become your elderly woman.
If you get married to the woman you love and... She isn't me,
Then that's fine. I'll be your first supporter.
Just... Remember to smile.

Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Flying Towards Dreams.

{Can I learn a song in one day? Absolutely not. Will I fail? Definitely. But hey, at least I tried to enter~. Also. How do people make titles?! Mine fail so badly. xD}

Like a pack of birds
Let's fly towards our dreams,
Soaring through this vast, unlimited sky.
As long as we try our best
And pick ourselves off the ground
When and if we fall,
What could possibly go wrong?

We may be too afraid to gather the
Courage to stand up and shine,
But once we do, we won't stop.
We will keep pursuing our dreams,
Letting others see our talents,
And get one step closer to
The sky.

Maybe we won't all succeed,
And maybe we will crash and burn
Along the way.
But what good is a dream if we don't
Try to reach it?
Rather than giving up when we are
Half way there, we should keep going,
Pushing thoughts of failure out of the way.

Let's make our dreams come true and
Soar through the air, showing off our confidence.
We're flying high to the sky
Like the birds we are.

Friday, May 18, 2012


There's the popular group,
The antisocial group,
The band geeks and nerds,
And finally, there's you.
Which group do you fit in to?

Are you preppy and enthusiastic?
Or are you down to earth, mellow
About the world?
Or perhaps you have an interest
In music, or in the arts of writing!

In order to make friends quickly and easily,
Are you ready to change your personality
To fit those categories?
Or do you still need time to settle down?

Time doesn't wait for anyone,
A factor we all must get used to.
Should you run out of time to decide
Your "category" and clique,
Just be yourself - you're bound to find others.

Thursday, May 17, 2012


{Ohnoohnoohnoohno. Project isn't saving correctly. ;AA;}

A perfect world, a perfect place
Where everyone is equally free,
And no one is ever hurt.
A society that is better than the rest,
Simply because they chose to live
In equality, and to handle problems
With direct care.
A perfect place deemed by others,
A place with many problems hidden.

To smile freely in such a world
Should be a given, yet to be happier
Than the rest is almost forbidden.
Everyone shares the same pains,
The same sorrows, the same happiness.
Life is constricted, beaten to a pulp.

The delinquents don't exist there, or rather,
They do, but are reformed into a different person.
Or perhaps discarded of in secret order to save
The community's reputation.
Instead of mourning for the loss however,
Life moves on, without anyone knowing
Of that devastating crime.

A vacancy has just opened up
In that town.
Would you like to move
To your utopia?
Just be careful not to lash out;
Who knows what might become of you?

Wednesday, May 16, 2012


To be well known in
A world that cares for
Nothing but looks and
The amount of money you earn
Is something that can benefit
You and the people who
You surround yourself in.
But could this only be a
Plague set by yourself?

The thought of being
Known in the community
Is overwhelmingly amazing,
Yet overwhelmingly bad.
Bad publicity and scandals
Might be a daily occurrence,
And your life is suddenly restricted.
Can you live with the pressure
Of being "perfect" in the eyes
Of others every day?

Tuesday, May 15, 2012


In this giant, and open world,
We are all trying to catch up
To one another, whether it be
Physically or mentally.
But are our methods really working?

Although we try our best
To be able to learn at the same
Pace as others, could it be that
Some are just not that capable of it?
Or is it that we should take on
A whole other approach?

Trying to be equal to the others
And not be left behind,
Everyone is urgently moving
Forward, whether they realize
It or not, in order to be able to
Smile with the others at the same time.
But... Can we truly say that as of now,
No one is left behind, equal or not?

Sunday, May 13, 2012


{My eyes. They burn. Why are my fevers always so bad? ;~;}

"The creator."
A person like no other,
But holds a special power,
The ability to bend things
Into their liking.
But what happens when
This being becomes bored
With this usual routine of
Waking up and exploring
The world through the eyes
Of human beings?

They plunge us into our

Friday, May 11, 2012


Do I belong here?
In an environment filled with
People I'm acquainted with,
Why do I feel so out of place?

Maybe they have more bonds
With each other than I will ever have,
Or maybe it's that through this
Short period of time they've been
Together, they are closer than
I am to any of them.

Should I try to be closer to them
With this meek and shy demeanor?
Or should I just stay here,
Alone in my own atmosphere?

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Family Time.

{For around a year, maybe more, I've been following this amazing artist on Deviantart - Yuumei. She's a university graduate who draws an amazing web series, Knite. In a few days, it's her birthday/college graduation.  But that isn't the point. xD. In here, she tells us of how her father can't come over from China in order to attend her graduation/birthday. For three years, she has waited for him... And he still can't come over. After reading this, I started to wonder just how much of my family time I take for granted.}

A distant home.
Although "family" is in the room,
They seem to be nothing but strangers.
Our conversations are short and our
Time together is limited.
Is this the family time we all should have?

Although we have occasional greetings
Among ourselves, a hi there, a hi here,
We show no further bonding.
Is what we are doing right?

Caught up in the new age technology
And with the friends that I have made,
I've forgotten what it's like to bond
With my family members, the ones
Who will be gone in future years...
The ones that I will miss most.

Instead of falling deeper into this
Addiction with technology, lets
Put an end to it now so that
We can enjoy the time that we're
Given to spend with our relatives,
And to not waste that precious time.

To be given these moments and take
Them for granted when others
Aren't able to even acknowledge it
Seems like a terrible crime.

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Leaders and Followers.

They say that bright individuals become
The leaders of tomorrow, while
Average students become the
But in reality, who is bright and who is average?

Just what separates us into those categories?
Is it our academic success or our personal merits?
Or is it simply the amount of money we possess?
Are we judged solely on those categories?
Does equality not exist?

Regardless of our grades and social standing,
If we are based only on that and placed into
Groups of "bright" and "average",
Are we really being judged for who we are,
Or are we judged on who they believe we are?

If we take a closer look on things,
Who is really the follower?

Monday, May 7, 2012

Rubik's Cube.

{I swear my teachers hate me. -_-. My math teacher docked points off of my test only because I wrote two answers, what I was supposed to look for and what he had /told/ us to put there. Then my Language Arts teacher, his wife, was trying to blame me for my friend's malfunctioning laptop. FIVE MORE WEEKS~}

Complicating, confusing, challenging.
Life is just like a Rubik's Cube.
No matter how many times we turn
The knobs, no matter how many different
Combinations we try to make,
It only takes a few simple steps in order to
Solve your problem.

Although it's easy to just give up and
To not try again, the outcome is always
The most satisfying part.
Should you solve the puzzle to
Your own life, it's up to you.

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Money or Wisdom?

{Oh my goodness I'm tired. I haven't gotten any proper sleep in the past... Two weeks? I usually get five hours instead of the recommended eight. I tried my hand at this kind of story... Can you spot what I was trying to get at? I promise this isn't based on real life other, so it isn't a type of memory for me. xD. Find the secret!
EDIT: ... That was horrible. I hate formatting. TT_TT
EDIT: BEST viewed in chrome. That's when the formatting works out. TT___TT.
EDIT: I give up with this. LOLOL. It was supposed to read "Someone is behind you don't look", the first word of each line read. After I changed my layout for the blog I guess it got destroyed. : (.}

Someone told me the key to success isn't money, but wisdom. People believe money is everything, but in reality, it's not. The key to success isn't owned, but works behind the scene. Money is a necessity in our lives, but wisdom gained in the years you live hold more importance in your life.

Don't overlook the knowledge you've gained. Although we agree knowledge doesn't look as good, it helps you overall in the long run.

Friday, May 4, 2012

A Normal Day.

It was just a normal day.
The sky was blue and there wasn't a single cloud.
The sun shined down on the crowd, missing not a single head.
The day was abnormally normal, until I met you.
You walked towards me with mystery filled eyes,
Clad in a plaid shirt and jeans that hugged your legs.
I eyed every inch of you, starting from your head to your toes.
You walked closer, and our eyes met.
It felt like the universe was frozen, in a trance.
But suddenly our eyes broke contact, maybe because of you, or maybe because of me.
That brief, perfect moment was gone, never to come back again.
You walked past me, your cologne filling my every sense, leaving me to want more.
Our fates had crossed, and our moment of togetherness became
Sweet nothings.

The day was perfectly normal,
The sky was blue and the sun shone.
However, that little part, the moment
Our eyes had met, the day became

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Missing Link.

{OTL. I'm going to fail my science test. And my Algebra 1 final. What is this I don't even--. Must. Pass. And. Become. Valedictorian. In. High. School. ;A;}

What is it that we are missing?
The absence is subtle in our lives,
But the feeling of it gone is big.

An empty spot in our hearts
That can't seem to be filled
Due to the missing emotion.
Is this normal, or is it something
Rare, a feeling that only comes
To certain people?

No matter how much I search for it,
Look for it, try to find the missing link,
I always end up at my starting point.
Could it be that there is nothing missing,
Or could it be that I'm not mature
Enough yet to find the answer?

Whether we notice or not,
That missing link, that one feeling
That we can't fill, is always there.
Can this mystery be solved in the future?

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

That Road.

A familiar, unused road
That others fear to travel.
Although it leads them to happiness,
The road to originality is unheard of.

Is it simply because we are afraid of
What other people think of us that
We avoid this road?
Or is it because of something else
That is unheard of?

Instead of being dependent on
The things that others do,
Why don't we separate from that
Group of individuals that are
Doing their own thing, living their
Own life, having their own personality?

Are we really so afraid of wandering
Off on our own that we have to hold
On to these training wheels?

No matter how cliche it sounds,
Just live your life the way you want to.

Monday, April 30, 2012


{I should be sleeping I should be sleeping I should be-- Forget it, let's just write at 11pm. OTL} 

Have we all lived up to the
Expectations that life gives us?
Or have we all failed miserably
In trying to morph our personalities
Into those that are not us?

As we grow older we discover
Just how much society influences
The standards of beauty in our lives.
Every move taken at that point on
Is taken hesitantly - given clear and adequate thinking.

Should you follow the others and
Be well liked with the majority,
Or will you be yourself and
Be liked by only the minority?

Whichever side you pursue, the
Fact remains that life will suddenly
Get harder, less free.
But no matter what happens, just
Don't lose yourself in this mess that
The world has wedged into our minds
On the standard of beauty.

Sunday, April 29, 2012


{Growing up, I was constantly told by my family members to be quiet and to not to talk/give an opinion. Although I don't care much for it now, it still has affected my social skills and how I talk to others. Whenever I look at my sister who is the opposite of me in personality, someone who can talk and can easily make friends, I can't help but think, "Why can't I be like that... Why did this only happen to me?"}

I'm speaking loud and clear.
Yet why is no one listening?
Am I too quiet? Or am I a
Person who speaks in the back?

Why was I raised this way?
Why could no one hear my
Cry for help back then,
Yet expect me to accept their
help now?

I want to be a better speaker.
I want to be able to make friends easily.
I want... to be heard.

Did I do something wrong?
Why shun only me?
Why treat only me differently?
Although they raised me,
I can't help but resent them for
Doing this to me.

Saturday, April 28, 2012


{I've lived in the same place for 14 years - ever since I was born basically. This area is like any other place, except it holds the memories that I had gained years before, when I went shopping with my parents, when I first started school, when I made my first actual best friend, all of those. Although there are times when I just hate this place and want to leave, the truth is, I love it here. It's given me a wonderful childhood when others weren't there.}

A quiet town filled with
Familiar people all around.
Nothing worthwhile ever happens here.
Yet something always occurs
In each individual's life that will
Be a precious memory to the memory makers.

The place where I grew up,
The places where I played,
The areas I always entered,
All hold significance in my life.
They provide a sanctuary, a place
To return when I lose myself.
Without those, I wouldn't be myself.

Harboring the same smells,
The same types of people,
The same memories, this town
Holds an incredible thing,
Even if others don't see it.

Although I complain about
Trivial things here, such as
The weather and the sunlight,
Who knew that this would be
The place I missed most?

Friday, April 27, 2012


{-____-. Only 5 more weeks and I won't have to see those teachers again~ I remember at the beginning of the year all (or I should say, the two teachers I'm talking about) of the teachers had repeatedly said things about not bringing down others' self esteem, or to poke holes in their bucket. They went beyond those words so much. xD}

A being that tries to help students.
Someone who listens to your problems.
A person who loves teaching.
If you judge even one child because
Of their shy and misunderstood demeanor,
And you side with the more liked children,
What's the point of your position?
to go behind your fake words that
You meant to fill with sincerity.
Saying that you would listen to
One side of the situation, yet doing
the exact opposite.
Just what exactly are you trying to teach?
A hypocrite like you
Sickens me.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Bus Station.

{So during my field trip, I saw one of my classmate's being alienated by her friends when we entered the tour bus. Being the type who's also usually ignored, I had to write this.}

A crowded area filled
With strangers all around.
If you're lucky you get
A friend to travel with.
But what if you're unlucky?

Supposed to be a fun, exciting feature,
Yet it has turned into a horrible
Experience, where your "friends"
Isolate you from it all.
Oh how I wish for this to end.

Just get me away from them.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Behind the Smile.

{I just got back from my school field trip! It was such an amazing experience to be able to go camping, something I'd never done before. : ). I never did realize how dependent I was of things such as showers though... OTL.}

Behind this smile I'm
Breaking down and sobbing.
No matter how much I
Show a happy expression,
I can't change my feelings inside.

Why must this happen to
Only me when everyone else gets away?
Is it because life hates me,
Or is this how I have to atone for my sins?

Should I keep faking my personality
So that society can accept me?
Or should I be myself, even more
Isolated from everyone else?

When can I truly smile a
Happy smile, and feel
Like myself?

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Future Self.

{I've always been interested in things like time capsules... Mostly things from the past. /Likes history. So whenever I get the opportunity, I would think about what would happen in the future, and this is kind of a result. OTL.}

Are you still the same
Weak child you are now?
Or have you grown out of
Your shell that separates you from others?

What ever happened at that incident?
Did you forget?
Or did something amazing happen?
Whatever happened, are you still the same?

Has there been any changes in
Your personality? Or are you still
Unable to join the others?
Can you make it through to them?

Be strong, be free, be yourself.
Even if in the future you forget,
Just don't forget who you once were.
Those memories will bind you
To the past, to your happiness.

Friday, April 20, 2012

Prompt 2

{Unoriginal titles for the win. OTL.
Poetry Prompt: Write a poem using the following start: "What good is a day..."}

What good is a day if
The sun doesn't shine
Or if the birds don't sing

Their daily melodies?

Can that day be perfect?
Can that day have meaning?
Or does that day turn into
A horrible disaster?

Will we, as humans, be able
To even survive a minute in that world?
Filled with superstitious people all around,
Will a day so different from the norm be
Looked at warily?

If the sun doesn't shine
And the birds don't sing,

Does that mean that the day
Is imperfect?

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Prompt 1.

{Decided to actually write to a prompt. This was probably one of the hardest things I had ever written.
Prompt: Write a poem about something that has happened to someone you know.}

Premature death.
Unable to see your newborn nephews
Before they were even able to see... To feel life.
The blow of knowing this may have
Hit stronger if it was the first time.

Separation from groups,
Not being able to fit in.
Trying so hard to be "like the others"
Yet still trying to show who you are as a person.

Tell me, is it hard to
Live that way?
Or has it already become a habit to you,
Living as someone you might not be?

We may have drifted apart as friends,
But just know that
You seemed to have been my
First friend, one of my best friends.
You are stronger than you think.

Why we Live.

Why are we alive?
Why do we even try?
Is it because we are too proud
To give in and let go?
Or is it simply because we don't want to?

Proud, arrogant creatures
Who's satisfaction is knowing
That we are "better" than everyone else.
But is that really why we live?
Do we live for scientific reasons,
Being able to repopulate the earth when
Danger is wiping out humans.
Or do we live for a different purpose?

Although we take life for granted,
We truly, do want to live to the fullest.
The fact that we have evolved this far
IS proof of that, right?

The answer to my question isn't
Something that can be spotted easily.
But it can be heard
As long as you listen.

Why do we live?
We live because we can.
Because we want to.

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

What Am I?

You use me everyday,
Yet you fail to give me recognition
For my efforts.
Although I'm the one to put up with
The struggles and frustrations you have,
Although I'm the one to take your
Anger and mistakes in whole,
Why am I never recognized?
Am I really just
A piece of paper to you?

Tuesday, April 17, 2012


We were scared of the future.
Not knowing what to expect,
We hesitated, not wanting to
Change our happy lives.
While everyone else stood
On the other side of the cliff,
We stayed back, unwilling to move forward.
Or rather, I made you stay behind.
I held back your wings.

Spending time with you, I
Could sense the changes I dreaded most.
I, who was the closest to you,
Felt that at times, I was the farthest away.
You shined with the others, radiating
A warm glow, clearly happy to be with them.
Whereas I dimmed, not wanting to stand out.
Eventually even concealing your glow.

As time passed and we grew older and more mature,
I realized that the only thing stopping you from
Changing and spreading your wings was me.
Having a stubborn personality, I refused to
Accept that fact, and instead ignored it.
But... The more I looked into your eyes,
The more I could see you yearning to be with them,
Almost like a child wanting a toy he can't have.
It pained me to see that expression, but
I just didn't want to be alone anymore.

However, the expression finally hit me, and...
I pushed you.
We aren't together anymore.

Now we aren't together hesitating on our future.
You, who belonged on that side, is now
Soaring with the others, emitting an expression
That was never shown when you were with me.
While I am still here, afraid to fly.
Although I can't gather the courage to go over to your side,
I'm glad you do.
I hope that someday, I can
Meet you again, with a smile on my face
Under this shining sun.
And together, we will fly.