I Really Liked You

And so the fairy-tale romance
that we had has
come to an
End.

Fleeting, short-lived
Filled with:
Doubts
Worries
Mistakes.

You once said that
your love for me was
Infinite.
Tell me,
Does it still hold
True?

We may be apart,
and the love has
Forsaken us,
but to me,
that will always be

True.

"Love"

{Boys are dumb.}

You fall in love faster
than you can blink.
Just the other day,
you were
in love
with
Me.
Yet now, it seems
that you're
in love
with Her.

Your love is
by far,
the cruelest
I've ever
Faced.

So Long

You're a kindhearted fool,
but... that's why I had
Fallen in love with you.

For your simpleness
attracted me, and
your mystery astounded me.

Many times, I wanted to
believe that I
was someone special.
Perhaps I'm putting on airs,
but you had treated me
Differently.
When I cried,
you were the first to
Offer a helping hand.
When I was angry,
you lent a listening ear.
When I had lost all hope,
You helped me regain it.
And in doing so,
you unknowingly sparked
a roaring fire
In my heart,
one that would
be doused by reality
in years to come.

There's so much I
want to do
For you.
The only thing I can do is
Show you that
I'm fine
Without you by my side.

Go out and live your own life,
One that doesn't
need you to
Protect silly old me.

Thank you,
I'm okay now.

When we were Children

We were children
Living in a world of what we
Envisioned 'adult society'
to be.
Behaving in an
utmost manner,
Speaking ever so formally,
and spending time on
matters that made no sense to us,
We forgot to be
Kids.

Yes, we carried the
dignity of an adult,
Yet had the body
of a child.
For what reason?
To grow up faster?
Can we honestly say
that after being pushed
into such a cruel world,
We found a reason to stay?
However, could we had said
that we wanted to leave?
When we were children,
it just never seemed possible
with the weight of the
Earth on our shoulders.

And now as we
rekindle our friendship,
It seems as if
Everything has changed.
We now match
the suit we bare,
and the weight of
The hearth is no longer
crashing down on us.
We've matured tenfold.

Yes, we were surely
Fools to think that
we lived in a world of
Black and white.
Now, we'll laugh at
how mindless our worries were,
and how we'll miss those
Bygone days.

We spent hours just
Reminiscing of those days
When we were only children.

Confessions of a Soldier

{I'M SORRY IF THIS ISN'T HOW A SOLDIER FEELS TO BE QUITE HONEST I DON'T KNOW /HOW/ THEY WOULD FEEL, PART OF WHAT HE FEELS IS WHAT I WOULD FEEL--- OTL. Anyways, this was stemmed from a close family friend going off to war again. Have you guys ever done that thing where you would write a letter to the person you hate/the thing that is bothering you, and then you destroy that very letter? ; w;. I did that once when I was younger. I have to say, it worked for me~}

Frank looked out the window of his apartment and he watched the sun creep its way into the sky. He stared on listlessly until the sun was right in front of him. Sighing, he stares back down at his table where a piece of lined paper lay. Resting his arm on the table, he picks up a pencil on the desk and begins to write.

I leave in a coupla hours. All of my stuff is packed, and I'm pretty much ready to go. I'm wasted from last night - maybe those vodkas weren't a good idea.Oh well, screw it, right? That was my last day. So what if I'm hung over! A couple of beers with my closest friends ain't gonna hurt anyone. 
Man, the place is gonna be sick. Women, beers, shooting - good combo? I've lived through my first deployment, I'm probably gonna live through this one, too. I've chosen the place I wanna go to in my free time - Thailand. It would be the perfect place to visit if I live.

Frank stopped writing and stared at the last sentence he had written. He chuckles, clearly forcing himself, and suddenly, his laughter stops. The smug grin he kept on his face drops, and suddenly, an expression of pure fear hit him. Shaking, he continues to write.

I've been told that these worries I have about being deployed back into war would go away if I were to write a letter to myself. A letter that no one else will see. A letter that I can write down all of my feelings about the war in. And here it is - that very letter. All I have left to say is this:

I don't want to die.

Signing his letter, Frank sealed it in an envelope addressed to himself with the date written in the top right corner. Grabbing a lighter off his nightstand, he takes that and the envelope to the balcony outside and engulfs the envelope in flames.

Dreaming

And it feels as if
the more I'm awake
the more
Life
feels like
a Dream.
For this life I dream of
Is in fact "better"
than my reality.
Waking up is
Hard, especially
when everything
Is perfect.

Rain Drops

The sky cried for you.
She shed her tears and offered her
condolences.
She sent a fall of cold droplets onto me
As if to trap me in her embrace.
And I thought, only for a second, I saw you.
Yes, in the center of the downpour,
You stood, resilient to the rain.
And along with the rain,
You disappeared once more.

The sky stopped crying,
And in place of her tears,
She left a vivid rainbow
With a smile
As bright as yours.

Flowers

{Long time no write! Hehe, I got bored on the bus last week.}

She strolled past me and I caught a whiff of her scent - the all too familiar smell of... just what exactly? Before I could catch it yet again, just like her, the smell dissipated into the sea of odors that lay ahead.

Her smell stuck by me for the entire day, driving my curious side insane. Her odor was faint, yet strong. Sweet, yet sour. Kind, yet painful, and so on and so forth. As I was contemplating just what it was, the scent wafted over to me, immediately gaining my attention. It captivated my presence and wrapped me in its embrace. I followed the lingering scent through the crowded hallways until I bumped into a dainty figure and fell.

"I'm so sorry, are you okay?!" She asked, her soothing voice clearly showing her concern. Her voice was like an angel's; it was unusually sweet, her sing-song voice hitting every nook and cranny of my heart. She offered a helping hand to me. The smell immediately surrounded me, trapping me in its strong clutch.

"I'm... I"m fine; thanks!" Hiding my face, I grabbed her hand and got up. We nodded our apologies. Glancing at her, I was entranced by her luscious brown hair and gorgeous grey eyes. Although it was  only for a split second, I was able to notice her in her entirety. Her figure was delicate; her shoulders small and her face slim. Her skin held a tint of ivory, yet still held the fairness and lightness of a baby. Before I could say another word, she had yet again disappeared from my sight, taking her scent with her.

And it dawned to me that the fragrance that I could never name was now clear - she had the fragrance of lavenders mixed with an undertone of tulips.

Us

And I'd be lying
If I said the thought of us
Never crossed my mind.

For you are now but
A bittersweet memory
Who, only through my memories,
Can I reach.

A Thousand Lives

I dreamed a thousand dreams,
Braved the turbulent seas,
And searched hundreds of miles
In order to bring you back to me.

Lived a thousand lives
And died nine hundred and ninety-nine times,
Ventured across the vast plains,
And swam around the great lakes.

I've seen you each time,
Whether it be coincidental or not.
Be it childhood friends or
Colleagues of the same employer,
We always wound up meeting.
I fell in love with you,
And I'd honestly like to believe you did too.

Alas, fate has not forsaken us.
Each life you died,
And I was left alone.
Other times I departed early,
And the order reversed.
Each time...
The last thing I would see of you
Would be your gentle smile
Telling me what I've always heard.

"Someday, we'll meet again.
Strangers or not,
We'll recognize each other.
Smile,
I love you."

Ah, the time of our thousandth meeting
Has finally arrived.

If I were to die soon after,
Just know that
My words are the same.
What will our next encounter be like?

Broken Strand

Somewhere along the lines
The strand keeping us together
Tore apart.
You changed, as did I.
By the time we realized
We had already become
Two such people unrecognizable
To the other.
It was far, far too late
To rewind time -
So we kept it as is.
Our sole connection was cut off.

Maybe someday
I'll mend the strand
And rekindle the friendship
We once had.

And Maybe...

And maybe you don't love me like I love you.
You don't think of me as much as I do.
You don't try to seek me out like I do you.
The thought has never crossed your mind.
And that's perfectly fine.
I'll survive
Forever chasing you,
Yearning for your love I'll never have.

Hate

I hate you. Rather, I abhor every inch of your presence. Your smile, laugh, sighs - everything. Every bit of you is intoxicating, and I'm the fool who gets drunk. Once you're gone I'm left drowning in my own self-pity and begging for you to return. I'm pathetic when you're around, and a desperate fool when you aren't around.

Although I say I hate you, doesn't this just sound like the complete opposite?

Flicker

For we're all waiting for that one person to look our way.
Although sometimes, they never do.
Sometimes... Their head remains turned
In the opposite direction,
Refusing to budge.
And just when you feel
As if you finally have a chance,
You realize the thing that made them
Turn around wasn't you,
But another person - the one who caught their eye.
And not a single thing can be done.

What Could Have Been

{3 years wasted, 3 years gone.}

What could have been
We'll never know
In this world we call our own.
Just for now
Please wait
As the seasons turn to grey.
Once the leaves
Are fully changed
Our mistakes will be erased.
For the past
Is the past
And time will change everything
Back to normal.

Just for now
Don't forget
The feelings we have faced
In this world
We call our own
What could have been
We'll never know.

Fallen Leaves

The past is the past
And the present is now.
Our friendship no longer lives in the current,
For you have gone farther ahead.
Just like the fallen leaves of autumn,
I was left behind in the chilling air.

Maddening

{I was skyping with a friend last night, and we ended up telling each other about our love lives. LOL.}

Our breathes joined together
Forming that one perfect moment
When our souls combined.
We spoke our feelings
Going hours on end
About our love
For another.
It was maddening to know
That the ones we loved
Would never look our way.

Selfish Desires

Please, just put up with my selfish requests a little longer.
Soon, you can forget me.
Soon, my existence won't matter.
So at least for now, put me at the top.

Just a little longer and we'll part ways forever.
Although you mean the world to me,
It's positive that I'm just... There in your mind.
Tell me, did I ever make a dent in you
Like you did to me?

Now, we won't see each other each day anymore.
Every day conversations won't be "every day."
We'll never ask each other for help anymore.
You'll forget about me.
And I'll hopefully forget about you, too.
Although I say that, it isn't actually true.

I'll never forget about you.
You've left too much of an impression on me,
And it's a shame you'll never know that.
I liked you far too much.
And you never felt the same.
I was a nuisance to you, wasn't I?
I'm so sorry.

Just a little more...
And it will be our goodbye.
I won't miss you.
I will forget you.
We'll talk someday.
Although those will be the complete truth for you,
I'm the exact opposite.

My final selfish desire
Is for you to be free.
Be happy.
Thank you for putting up with me.

Gone

I once knew a girl.
She was perfect - her kindness could light up the night sky.
But she went away one day, to a land far, far away.
Now a monster is in her place.
I don't know where she's at now,
But if she's somewhere to be found,
Please come out.

Mourning Day

{I was visiting my Grandfather's tombstone last weekend and I saw my Grandmother crouching before it, telling him of what has happened thus far, that his children were there to see him, and that his grandchildren were there to greet him.

It was a sad sight. ;-;;.

To my right, there was a woman who kept crying in front of someone's grave, and to my left there was a guy playing music in front of someone's grave. While the girl kept crying, the guy just sat there, enjoying the time he "spent" with the person that had died.

I just. It was so sad. OTL}

The times that have passed
And the memories we shared,
I'll treasure them.

The tears that are wept
Will be a precious reminder of the love I've felt.
May you always be able to tell.

Until next time, I'll keep our memories
Stored away, and from time to time,
I'll relive each tiny bit.
Yes, both the good and the bad
Will be played over and over again in my head.

For death is just another obstacle in life
And although it may derail us,
We will meet again.

Spider's Web

Your eyes, so vibrant and innocent,
And your smile, so new and warm.
You've captured me in your web,
Entwining me in your trap
And strengthening your grip.
Any girl would love to be this close,
And only one girl would feel this lucky.
Tell me, do you treat your "special one" differently?
Unknowingly, you've trapped me.
Please, release me from
Your poisonous web
Before I drown in your kindness.

I've committed a sin;
I've fallen in love with a taken man.

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Suffocating

{Hm...}

Suffocating.

The feeling of being trapped and torn apart. Every inch of you is analyzed, often done in order to jeer and taunt your already broken self. Until you know the true meaning of being trapped in a corner with no means of escape, I'm unsure if you know just how suffocating it is to be in such a claustrophobic area. Perhaps this is the true test of man, to see whether or not we can withstand such long, torturous hours of silence and solitude, to see if we are truly capable of being sane in desperate times, if we are truly able to stay ourselves when driven to a corner.

If the true test of man is something like that, then I give up. No... I've given up long ago, when I was first introduced to the "test." A fragile heart coupled with an insane idea driven by a strange notion will never last for long.