Indifference

Although I act like I don't care,

And I speak as if I'm indifferent,

The truth is... I wish to be in the same position as you.

I want to be able to laugh with you and with others,

Share jokes that only we'd be able to answer,

And have memories and bonds that showed our history together.

I long for a friendship to form between us.

Conversations that last for hours,

Laughs that would hurt,

Honestly, I wish I could experience those.

I try to not get hurt whenever I'm left out,

But in reality, I want to be inside your circle of friends.

I'm jealous of that... That inner circle you're connected with

And I only wish that could be me.

I've tried, time and time again, to be like you,

To be with friends... But it was all to no prevail.

Why try now when I know the outcome:

I'll only be replaced?