When we were Children

We were children
Living in a world of what we
Envisioned 'adult society'
to be.
Behaving in an
utmost manner,
Speaking ever so formally,
and spending time on
matters that made no sense to us,
We forgot to be
Kids.

Yes, we carried the
dignity of an adult,
Yet had the body
of a child.
For what reason?
To grow up faster?
Can we honestly say
that after being pushed
into such a cruel world,
We found a reason to stay?
However, could we had said
that we wanted to leave?
When we were children,
it just never seemed possible
with the weight of the
Earth on our shoulders.

And now as we
rekindle our friendship,
It seems as if
Everything has changed.
We now match
the suit we bare,
and the weight of
The hearth is no longer
crashing down on us.
We've matured tenfold.

Yes, we were surely
Fools to think that
we lived in a world of
Black and white.
Now, we'll laugh at
how mindless our worries were,
and how we'll miss those
Bygone days.

We spent hours just
Reminiscing of those days
When we were only children.

Future.

{I'm sorry? I find myself repeating that sentence more than I should. ;-;. Also. I SHOULD HAVE DONE NANOWRIMO.}

"Please, just bare with it for now."

"When you're older, you can do whatever you want!"

"You have no right to complain."

They say that the future holds nothing but happiness,

But I find that a horrible, gigantic lie.

While it may be true that tomorrow holds a better today,

The future can still be grim.

Who's to say that when we grow up our future will be perfect?

Although I've been told many times before to

Let go of such a dark outlook on life, I just... Can't.

A child was born and raised just hoping for a better life,

And that child grew up into a person who knows

How horrendous the future will truly be and that an

Optimistic mindset... Won't be enough to prepare you for failure.

Although a child was born,

Her hopes were dashed once the world shows its true colours.

In place of that child,

An emotionless person who sees the negative and not the positive sides of things

Was born.

Sleeping Position (Memory).

{I'm sorry for all of the father posts. OTL. This should pass relatively soon though; I'm feeling a bit emotional this month because of how his birthday was just five days ago. My father always had a habit of crossing his arms over his chest when he slept at night.}

    "Daddy, why do you sleep with your arms folded on your chest?"
    "It's so that if I die in my sleep I'll be prepared and presentable..."

Flight.

{Just got back from my trip~ So tired. @_@. I might have ad-libbed just a little on the red eye flight - we never went on one before. xD}

There was once a time
Long ago where we were happy,
And when nothing else mattered.

We looked at the stars on
Our red eye flight,
Our voices semi drowned
By the purr of the airplane.
The stars glistened and gleamed,
Far brighter than any we had ever seen.
No one complained,
No one interrupted.
As our fingers touched the window,
We pointed out the stars and the moon,
One thing was certain:
We were happy.

It's amazing how time
Can change so much
In as little as six years.

"Hello."

{I remember when I was younger, the first two friends I ever tried to be friends with completely blew me off. The first one trusted everyone /but/ me, and the second one tried to steal all of my friends and my crush. Because of their well... Bitchy attitude, I just repressed those memories. But at times, I wonder... How are they now? Do they still bare the "I'm better than you. Why should you have more friends? Why should I trust you?" attitude, or are they an entirely different person? And then, do they regret ever having met me? It's funny how my mind likes to dwell on questions that have no answers when I don't even remember one of the girl's name. xD}

One new message.

"Hello, how are you?"

An old acquaintance, a friend

From what seems as if a far away time.

An innocent question I'm sure, but

No matter how many times I roll it over in

My mind, I just can't shake off the memories

Of all that occurred before you broke off our communication.

Do I tell you all of it now? It's finally time to let it all out.

Staring at the blank screen, transfixed at the message and

The blinking cursor, I try my best to convey my emotions.

Although I want to tell them just how much

They have hurt my feelings, just how many

Sleepless nights I had over their betrayal,

My only response to their spontaneous message is,

"I'm fine. How have you been doing?"

Family Time.

{For around a year, maybe more, I've been following this amazing artist on Deviantart - Yuumei. She's a university graduate who draws an amazing web series, Knite. In a few days, it's her birthday/college graduation.  But that isn't the point. xD. In here, she tells us of how her father can't come over from China in order to attend her graduation/birthday. For three years, she has waited for him... And he still can't come over. After reading this, I started to wonder just how much of my family time I take for granted.}

A distant home.
Although "family" is in the room,
They seem to be nothing but strangers.
Our conversations are short and our
Time together is limited.
Is this the family time we all should have?

Although we have occasional greetings
Among ourselves, a hi there, a hi here,
We show no further bonding.
Is what we are doing right?

Caught up in the new age technology
And with the friends that I have made,
I've forgotten what it's like to bond
With my family members, the ones
Who will be gone in future years...
The ones that I will miss most.

Instead of falling deeper into this
Addiction with technology, lets
Put an end to it now so that
We can enjoy the time that we're
Given to spend with our relatives,
And to not waste that precious time.

To be given these moments and take
Them for granted when others
Aren't able to even acknowledge it
Seems like a terrible crime.

Missing Link.

{OTL. I'm going to fail my science test. And my Algebra 1 final. What is this I don't even--. Must. Pass. And. Become. Valedictorian. In. High. School. ;A;}

What is it that we are missing?
The absence is subtle in our lives,
But the feeling of it gone is big.

An empty spot in our hearts
That can't seem to be filled
Due to the missing emotion.
Is this normal, or is it something
Rare, a feeling that only comes
To certain people?

No matter how much I search for it,
Look for it, try to find the missing link,
I always end up at my starting point.
Could it be that there is nothing missing,
Or could it be that I'm not mature
Enough yet to find the answer?

Whether we notice or not,
That missing link, that one feeling
That we can't fill, is always there.
Can this mystery be solved in the future?

That Road.

A familiar, unused road
That others fear to travel.
Although it leads them to happiness,
The road to originality is unheard of.

Is it simply because we are afraid of
What other people think of us that
We avoid this road?
Or is it because of something else
That is unheard of?

Instead of being dependent on
The things that others do,
Why don't we separate from that
Group of individuals that are
Doing their own thing, living their
Own life, having their own personality?

Are we really so afraid of wandering
Off on our own that we have to hold
On to these training wheels?

No matter how cliche it sounds,
Just live your life the way you want to.

Standards.

{I should be sleeping I should be sleeping I should be-- Forget it, let's just write at 11pm. OTL} 

Have we all lived up to the
Expectations that life gives us?
Or have we all failed miserably
In trying to morph our personalities
Into those that are not us?

As we grow older we discover
Just how much society influences
The standards of beauty in our lives.
Every move taken at that point on
Is taken hesitantly - given clear and adequate thinking.

Should you follow the others and
Be well liked with the majority,
Or will you be yourself and
Be liked by only the minority?

Whichever side you pursue, the
Fact remains that life will suddenly
Get harder, less free.
But no matter what happens, just
Don't lose yourself in this mess that
The world has wedged into our minds
On the standard of beauty.

Resentment.

{Growing up, I was constantly told by my family members to be quiet and to not to talk/give an opinion. Although I don't care much for it now, it still has affected my social skills and how I talk to others. Whenever I look at my sister who is the opposite of me in personality, someone who can talk and can easily make friends, I can't help but think, "Why can't I be like that... Why did this only happen to me?"}

I'm speaking loud and clear.
Yet why is no one listening?
Am I too quiet? Or am I a
Person who speaks in the back?

Why was I raised this way?
Why could no one hear my
Cry for help back then,
Yet expect me to accept their
help now?

I want to be a better speaker.
I want to be able to make friends easily.
I want... to be heard.

Did I do something wrong?
Why shun only me?
Why treat only me differently?
Although they raised me,
I can't help but resent them for
Doing this to me.

Home.

{I've lived in the same place for 14 years - ever since I was born basically. This area is like any other place, except it holds the memories that I had gained years before, when I went shopping with my parents, when I first started school, when I made my first actual best friend, all of those. Although there are times when I just hate this place and want to leave, the truth is, I love it here. It's given me a wonderful childhood when others weren't there.}

A quiet town filled with
Familiar people all around.
Nothing worthwhile ever happens here.
Yet something always occurs
In each individual's life that will
Be a precious memory to the memory makers.

The place where I grew up,
The places where I played,
The areas I always entered,
All hold significance in my life.
They provide a sanctuary, a place
To return when I lose myself.
Without those, I wouldn't be myself.

Harboring the same smells,
The same types of people,
The same memories, this town
Holds an incredible thing,
Even if others don't see it.

Although I complain about
Trivial things here, such as
The weather and the sunlight,
Who knew that this would be
The place I missed most?

Prompt 1.

{Decided to actually write to a prompt. This was probably one of the hardest things I had ever written.

Prompt: Write a poem about something that has happened to someone you know.}

Premature death.

Unable to see your newborn nephews

Before they were even able to see... To feel life.

The blow of knowing this may have

Hit stronger if it was the first time.

Separation from groups,

Not being able to fit in.

Trying so hard to be "like the others"

Yet still trying to show who you are as a person.

Tell me, is it hard to

Live that way?

Or has it already become a habit to you,

Living as someone you might not be?

We may have drifted apart as friends,

But just know that

You seemed to have been my
First friend, one of my best friends.

You are stronger than you think.

Shaken

{Honestly, the title was an autocorrect I got when I typed this out; I just typed random letters. xDD. This morning (or Saturday?) I had a dream that involved my father. In that dream, I seemed to be around 9 years old, and my father was there talking to me. Although everything was in mute, it still seemed like a nice talk with him. During the time I had with him in the dream, he had to pull my hair away to my right shoulder, decided to braid it, then left soon after. After such a long time without seeing him moving, I guess it could be counted as a good dream.}

A time when I was years younger,
Where you were healthier, stronger than before.
You and I talked about nothing.
It was a pleasant conversation,
One with smiles and laughs.
Suddenly, you took my hair, bringing it to the side,
Finally saying, "Why not?" in your usual tone.
Braiding my hair, you finished,
Leaving a messy side braid as a result.
Giving me one last smile, saying
One last thing, you got up from your crouch
And walked straight behind me, leaving me behind.
Even though I wanted to follow you,
Even though I tried my best to stand up,
I couldn't move. I was frozen in place.
Instead of following you and telling
You to take me with you, I sat there,
Crying for you to come back and pick me up.
Opening my eyes, I awoke from that dream,
Only to find my eyes wet with tears.
I smiled.

Fairy Tales

A beautiful princess or peasant
That lives with a stepmother that abhors her,
Who ends up falling in love with the prince
Of the country or palace.
At some point in their life,
Every girl dreams of being in the princess' footsteps.
But is it really the right place to be in?

Protection

A child isn't ignorant of bad news or

A dying relative.

As mush as you like

To keep the child in the dark about that, 

The truth comes out.

And when it does

The news coming from others and not

The one who "protects" the child

Hurts the child more.

It causes trust issues,

And the feeling of not being able

To depend on

The protector at all.

No  matter how much you try,

Protecting the child from horrendous news

Is something that

Is done in vain.

Goals: Theirs versus Mine

Long before when I was young
I grew up with a clear goal in mind.
But as I got older, that dream
Was brought down, leaving me hopeless.
"You aren't cut out for it," or
"It isn't the right choice," were heard
commonly in my past.

Affected by their words I
Hid my dreams... And who I was
As a person... As an individual.
In order to make them proud,
I changed my goal to
Fit their wishes, their aspirations
But... Was that truly what I wanted?
It left me empty.

Thank You

{Based on my sister? Meh...}

Thank you for always supporting me,
And for always pushing me forwards when
I had wanted to give up and crawl into a hole.
Thank you for giving me second chances
When I had done the dumbest things imagined
Or when I had said something out of line.
Thank you for just being there, even when I
Felt like I didn't need you around.
Thank you for teaching me how to stand up
For what I want, and for setting examples on
Just how to stand up for them.
In terms, thank you for being you.

Our relationship in the past may have been
Filled with petty arguments and complete
Disregard for the other's feelings, but
Now that our relationship has gotten better
In a course of only a few years, that is
A good thing, right?

I'm grateful that you took the time to teach me
How to do things, such as folding paper stars,
Or teaching me how to swim.
Many times, you have taught me things that
Have a permanent affect on my life.
That is why, thank you.
Thank you for being my sister.

A Child's Life

{After spending 5 hours with my 5-6 year old cousins, I had ended up feeling a bit envious of how carefree they were to everything, something that led me to write this. : )}

Laughing, pointing, smiling.
Going around in circles and
Not caring for the world.
Covering the same topics
Over and over again, facing
The same excitement as they did before.
How I wish I could go back
To a life where we were all just
Little kids playing around, without worrying about
Today's view on our "fun".

Without worrying about deadlines and homework,
Or about crushes and betrayal,
The life of a child is something desirable to us,
Desirable to me.
If only I could go back and become one
Amongst the young and have fun the way
I had always imagined it.

Being able to run around carefree,
And being able to flaunt around play doh bracelets with pride,
A child's life is something enjoyable that I wish to be a part of again.

As long as I keep dreaming however, I can remember
Those precious memories and
Relive those moments over and over again.