Confessions of a Soldier

{I'M SORRY IF THIS ISN'T HOW A SOLDIER FEELS TO BE QUITE HONEST I DON'T KNOW /HOW/ THEY WOULD FEEL, PART OF WHAT HE FEELS IS WHAT I WOULD FEEL--- OTL. Anyways, this was stemmed from a close family friend going off to war again. Have you guys ever done that thing where you would write a letter to the person you hate/the thing that is bothering you, and then you destroy that very letter? ; w;. I did that once when I was younger. I have to say, it worked for me~}

Frank looked out the window of his apartment and he watched the sun creep its way into the sky. He stared on listlessly until the sun was right in front of him. Sighing, he stares back down at his table where a piece of lined paper lay. Resting his arm on the table, he picks up a pencil on the desk and begins to write.

I leave in a coupla hours. All of my stuff is packed, and I'm pretty much ready to go. I'm wasted from last night - maybe those vodkas weren't a good idea.Oh well, screw it, right? That was my last day. So what if I'm hung over! A couple of beers with my closest friends ain't gonna hurt anyone. 
Man, the place is gonna be sick. Women, beers, shooting - good combo? I've lived through my first deployment, I'm probably gonna live through this one, too. I've chosen the place I wanna go to in my free time - Thailand. It would be the perfect place to visit if I live.

Frank stopped writing and stared at the last sentence he had written. He chuckles, clearly forcing himself, and suddenly, his laughter stops. The smug grin he kept on his face drops, and suddenly, an expression of pure fear hit him. Shaking, he continues to write.

I've been told that these worries I have about being deployed back into war would go away if I were to write a letter to myself. A letter that no one else will see. A letter that I can write down all of my feelings about the war in. And here it is - that very letter. All I have left to say is this:

I don't want to die.

Signing his letter, Frank sealed it in an envelope addressed to himself with the date written in the top right corner. Grabbing a lighter off his nightstand, he takes that and the envelope to the balcony outside and engulfs the envelope in flames.

Remember.

I'm worried that my future self will forget my current morals.
Sorry, but the lifestyle you may live at that point in time isn't "mine".
Please, for the sake of us, remember our current goals and dreams.
Forgive and forget are key to friends - are you making them now?
Me... I'm still the same I just hope we changed for the better.
For our family to still respect us, make good companions.
Being level-headed will help you, us really, in the long run.
Weak-minded... If you still are that is... Won't help - good luck Sandy.

Bullying.

{NBEFORE: "Did this happen to you?" No, it didn't; I had tried to write in that perspective. ;-;. ANYWAYS... I hate my phone. I was in the middle of writing this, and then it deleted all of the stanzas I had  so far. -____-}

You were so strong, so kind, so caring.
Nothing in the world could possibly stop you.
You were invincible.
Yet... Even the strongest of the strong crumbles.

Each day was a war;
Every struggle created by /them/ in order to
Satisfy their fun and fulfill them of their needs.
Inflicting many taunts, many jokes, so many struggles...
Life was a living hell each day wasn't it?

Others ignored your desperate cries for help
In fear that they would be next.
Your screams, echoing loud and clear, were
Swept aside, dying out as your voice grew hoarse and your throat burned.
Only your dreams brought salvation.

Adults won't listen, brushing it off as a cry for attention.
The faculty wants the best school; complaints of bullying won't cut it.
Suddenly, no adult seems... Trustworthy.

Frustrated over everything,
The bullies, the people who ignored your cries,
The adults who chose not to get involved, you wanted it all over.
You took your life.
And now, it is all over.
As Homer once said,
"Now he sleeps at peace forgetful of what he has suffered."

Now everyones eyes are opened.
They see just how bad society was to you,
And now fingers are pointed to just who is at fault.
But... Why must this be seen only after your death?
Why were they so oblivious to your situation even though
They watched it all happen each day?
Why does no one act as the perpetrator, but instead the victim?
Can't they tell they are all at fault?

Although I knew that had happened to you,
I chose to look into the future, ignoring your talk on it... Like the others.
I'm no better than everyone else huh?
I'm sorry.

Untitled.

{So I finally saw the video of the bus monitor being bullied by teenagers. I don't remember EVER being that rude when I was around their age. And even now I don't think I'm like that. Growing up I was taught to be respectful to elders, not call them a "fatass" or giving them the finger every second. If I wasn't respectful enough? A slap on the arm. Even if my parents' way of teaching was a bit... Harsh, it worked didn't it? At least I have the decency to be nice to the elderly. Although the whole thing may be resolved, or at the most semi resolved, now, those children still made a huge negative impact to society. No one should harass someone, regardless of age, because of their weight, sexuality, looks, or mentally challenged they are.}

There may be doubts,

There may be worries.

Although fear may overcome you

At the darkest of times, I just want you to

Be able to reach towards your dreams.

Don't worry about the others who may bring you down,

Rather, start thinking about what to do once you get to 

The finish line.

Diving in.

{I'm running out of ideas for thisssss. OTL. TT-TT}

Let's dive under water and have
All of our physical faults masked.
Blocking out the features that others judge,
Can we live our lives better?

In order to stop the useless rumours
From hurting others because of their insecurities,
Let's stop it by going under and hiding the
Faults that others can easily see.
Just what are we waiting for?
It's time to dive in.

Flying Towards Dreams.

{Can I learn a song in one day? Absolutely not. Will I fail? Definitely. But hey, at least I tried to enter~. Also. How do people make titles?! Mine fail so badly. xD}

Like a pack of birds

Let's fly towards our dreams,

Soaring through this vast, unlimited sky.

As long as we try our best

And pick ourselves off the ground

When and if we fall,

What could possibly go wrong?

We may be too afraid to gather the

Courage to stand up and shine,

But once we do, we won't stop.

We will keep pursuing our dreams,

Letting others see our talents,

And get one step closer to

The sky.

Maybe we won't all succeed,

And maybe we will crash and burn

Along the way.

But what good is a dream if we don't

Try to reach it?

Rather than giving up when we are

Half way there, we should keep going,

Pushing thoughts of failure out of the way.

Let's make our dreams come true and

Soar through the air, showing off our confidence.
We're flying high to the sky
Like the birds we are.

Rubik's Cube.

{I swear my teachers hate me. -_-. My math teacher docked points off of my test only because I wrote two answers, what I was supposed to look for and what he had /told/ us to put there. Then my Language Arts teacher, his wife, was trying to blame me for my friend's malfunctioning laptop. FIVE MORE WEEKS~}

Complicating, confusing, challenging.

Life is just like a Rubik's Cube.

No matter how many times we turn

The knobs, no matter how many different

Combinations we try to make,

It only takes a few simple steps in order to

Solve your problem.

Although it's easy to just give up and

To not try again, the outcome is always

The most satisfying part.

Should you solve the puzzle to
Your own life, it's up to you.

That Road.

A familiar, unused road
That others fear to travel.
Although it leads them to happiness,
The road to originality is unheard of.

Is it simply because we are afraid of
What other people think of us that
We avoid this road?
Or is it because of something else
That is unheard of?

Instead of being dependent on
The things that others do,
Why don't we separate from that
Group of individuals that are
Doing their own thing, living their
Own life, having their own personality?

Are we really so afraid of wandering
Off on our own that we have to hold
On to these training wheels?

No matter how cliche it sounds,
Just live your life the way you want to.

Standards.

{I should be sleeping I should be sleeping I should be-- Forget it, let's just write at 11pm. OTL} 

Have we all lived up to the
Expectations that life gives us?
Or have we all failed miserably
In trying to morph our personalities
Into those that are not us?

As we grow older we discover
Just how much society influences
The standards of beauty in our lives.
Every move taken at that point on
Is taken hesitantly - given clear and adequate thinking.

Should you follow the others and
Be well liked with the majority,
Or will you be yourself and
Be liked by only the minority?

Whichever side you pursue, the
Fact remains that life will suddenly
Get harder, less free.
But no matter what happens, just
Don't lose yourself in this mess that
The world has wedged into our minds
On the standard of beauty.

Bus Station.

{So during my field trip, I saw one of my classmate's being alienated by her friends when we entered the tour bus. Being the type who's also usually ignored, I had to write this.}

A crowded area filled
With strangers all around.
If you're lucky you get
A friend to travel with.
But what if you're unlucky?

Supposed to be a fun, exciting feature,
Yet it has turned into a horrible
Experience, where your "friends"
Isolate you from it all.
Oh how I wish for this to end.

Just get me away from them.

Prompt 1.

{Decided to actually write to a prompt. This was probably one of the hardest things I had ever written.

Prompt: Write a poem about something that has happened to someone you know.}

Premature death.

Unable to see your newborn nephews

Before they were even able to see... To feel life.

The blow of knowing this may have

Hit stronger if it was the first time.

Separation from groups,

Not being able to fit in.

Trying so hard to be "like the others"

Yet still trying to show who you are as a person.

Tell me, is it hard to

Live that way?

Or has it already become a habit to you,

Living as someone you might not be?

We may have drifted apart as friends,

But just know that

You seemed to have been my
First friend, one of my best friends.

You are stronger than you think.

Why we Live.

Why are we alive?

Why do we even try?
Is it because we are too proud
To give in and let go?
Or is it simply because we don't want to?

Proud, arrogant creatures

Who's satisfaction is knowing

That we are "better" than everyone else.

But is that really why we live?

Do we live for scientific reasons,

Being able to repopulate the earth when

Danger is wiping out humans.

Or do we live for a different purpose?

Although we take life for granted,
We truly, do want to live to the fullest.
The fact that we have evolved this far
IS proof of that, right?

The answer to my question isn't
Something that can be spotted easily.
But it can be heard
As long as you listen.

Why do we live?
We live because we can.
Because we want to.

Battle Cry

{This... Was supposed to be something for the big tests I have next week, but this works too, I guess. xD}

Shout out to the heavens.
Let your voice echo in the darkness.
Pour your soul in to your powerful cry.
Don't let others get you down.
Can you hear my roar?

Don't pay attention to others or to
The latest trends in fashion.
Instead, be yourself - Don't hold back.
Drown out the mindless chatter in your life,
And focus all your attention to doing your best.

Never mind the others who don't think the same way you do.
Think of that as your own individuality,
Being so different you're unable to be read.
Don't ever try to hide your roar from others,
Else you won't be able to truly be "yourself".
Instead of being too shy and meek to ever
Voice out your opinion, regardless of whether others like it or not,
Be a powerful lion, the king of the jungle,
And let others hear your powerful roar.