I Really Liked You

And so the fairy-tale romance
that we had has
come to an
End.

Fleeting, short-lived
Filled with:
Doubts
Worries
Mistakes.

You once said that
your love for me was
Infinite.
Tell me,
Does it still hold
True?

We may be apart,
and the love has
Forsaken us,
but to me,
that will always be

True.

"Love"

{Boys are dumb.}

You fall in love faster
than you can blink.
Just the other day,
you were
in love
with
Me.
Yet now, it seems
that you're
in love
with Her.

Your love is
by far,
the cruelest
I've ever
Faced.

When we were Children

We were children
Living in a world of what we
Envisioned 'adult society'
to be.
Behaving in an
utmost manner,
Speaking ever so formally,
and spending time on
matters that made no sense to us,
We forgot to be
Kids.

Yes, we carried the
dignity of an adult,
Yet had the body
of a child.
For what reason?
To grow up faster?
Can we honestly say
that after being pushed
into such a cruel world,
We found a reason to stay?
However, could we had said
that we wanted to leave?
When we were children,
it just never seemed possible
with the weight of the
Earth on our shoulders.

And now as we
rekindle our friendship,
It seems as if
Everything has changed.
We now match
the suit we bare,
and the weight of
The hearth is no longer
crashing down on us.
We've matured tenfold.

Yes, we were surely
Fools to think that
we lived in a world of
Black and white.
Now, we'll laugh at
how mindless our worries were,
and how we'll miss those
Bygone days.

We spent hours just
Reminiscing of those days
When we were only children.

Confessions of a Soldier

{I'M SORRY IF THIS ISN'T HOW A SOLDIER FEELS TO BE QUITE HONEST I DON'T KNOW /HOW/ THEY WOULD FEEL, PART OF WHAT HE FEELS IS WHAT I WOULD FEEL--- OTL. Anyways, this was stemmed from a close family friend going off to war again. Have you guys ever done that thing where you would write a letter to the person you hate/the thing that is bothering you, and then you destroy that very letter? ; w;. I did that once when I was younger. I have to say, it worked for me~}

Frank looked out the window of his apartment and he watched the sun creep its way into the sky. He stared on listlessly until the sun was right in front of him. Sighing, he stares back down at his table where a piece of lined paper lay. Resting his arm on the table, he picks up a pencil on the desk and begins to write.

I leave in a coupla hours. All of my stuff is packed, and I'm pretty much ready to go. I'm wasted from last night - maybe those vodkas weren't a good idea.Oh well, screw it, right? That was my last day. So what if I'm hung over! A couple of beers with my closest friends ain't gonna hurt anyone. 
Man, the place is gonna be sick. Women, beers, shooting - good combo? I've lived through my first deployment, I'm probably gonna live through this one, too. I've chosen the place I wanna go to in my free time - Thailand. It would be the perfect place to visit if I live.

Frank stopped writing and stared at the last sentence he had written. He chuckles, clearly forcing himself, and suddenly, his laughter stops. The smug grin he kept on his face drops, and suddenly, an expression of pure fear hit him. Shaking, he continues to write.

I've been told that these worries I have about being deployed back into war would go away if I were to write a letter to myself. A letter that no one else will see. A letter that I can write down all of my feelings about the war in. And here it is - that very letter. All I have left to say is this:

I don't want to die.

Signing his letter, Frank sealed it in an envelope addressed to himself with the date written in the top right corner. Grabbing a lighter off his nightstand, he takes that and the envelope to the balcony outside and engulfs the envelope in flames.

Us

And I'd be lying
If I said the thought of us
Never crossed my mind.

For you are now but
A bittersweet memory
Who, only through my memories,
Can I reach.

And Maybe...

And maybe you don't love me like I love you.
You don't think of me as much as I do.
You don't try to seek me out like I do you.
The thought has never crossed your mind.
And that's perfectly fine.
I'll survive
Forever chasing you,
Yearning for your love I'll never have.

Hate

I hate you. Rather, I abhor every inch of your presence. Your smile, laugh, sighs - everything. Every bit of you is intoxicating, and I'm the fool who gets drunk. Once you're gone I'm left drowning in my own self-pity and begging for you to return. I'm pathetic when you're around, and a desperate fool when you aren't around.

Although I say I hate you, doesn't this just sound like the complete opposite?

Flicker

For we're all waiting for that one person to look our way.
Although sometimes, they never do.
Sometimes... Their head remains turned
In the opposite direction,
Refusing to budge.
And just when you feel
As if you finally have a chance,
You realize the thing that made them
Turn around wasn't you,
But another person - the one who caught their eye.
And not a single thing can be done.

Mourning Day

{I was visiting my Grandfather's tombstone last weekend and I saw my Grandmother crouching before it, telling him of what has happened thus far, that his children were there to see him, and that his grandchildren were there to greet him.

It was a sad sight. ;-;;.

To my right, there was a woman who kept crying in front of someone's grave, and to my left there was a guy playing music in front of someone's grave. While the girl kept crying, the guy just sat there, enjoying the time he "spent" with the person that had died.

I just. It was so sad. OTL}

The times that have passed
And the memories we shared,
I'll treasure them.

The tears that are wept
Will be a precious reminder of the love I've felt.
May you always be able to tell.

Until next time, I'll keep our memories
Stored away, and from time to time,
I'll relive each tiny bit.
Yes, both the good and the bad
Will be played over and over again in my head.

For death is just another obstacle in life
And although it may derail us,
We will meet again.

Raindrops

{Hi guys Finals are coming closer I'm scared I've never taken them before WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO STUDY FOR OH MY GOD.}

Further, further away
The clouds will soar
And the birds will fly.
The sun will rise
On each and every day
And the stars will shine
On each passing night.
But the rain will always fall
Back down to earth.
Slowly, they drop back onto
The land they tried to escape
Once long before.
Perhaps they just didn't want
To be left behind in such a cruel world
Without their friends - the stars, the sun, the clouds - around.
But with each fall they realize
There is no place for them
In the happy sky above.

Whisper.

Softly, gently, whisper in my ears
The words you'd never say again
In a million years.
let me hear the tone
That you put on
And let me drown in the pleasure.
Show me the expressions you hide
And the smiles you mask
Whenever you're by my side.

I act as if you love me,
Silly I know.
But if you felt the same as I do,
This idea wouldn't be so far-fetched, you see.

Shadow.

She chases your shadow in hopes

That one of these days, you'll turn around and acknowledge her.

But... She knows that all will be in vain.

You're someone out of her reach,

Someone who is capable of doing things

She could never accomplish.

As you take a step forwards, all she can do

Is catch up, and hope to not fall so far behind.

While you're moving towards your dreams,

She's just hoping that you won't leave her behind.

She's... Trying to prevent the inevitable, really.

She knows that soon, you won't be in her reach.

Soon... You'll be on another level,

A level too far from hers.

But she can't stop what she already started.

That's why, until she can't see you anymore,

Can't reach or speak to you anymore,

She'll keep chasing your shadow

In hopes that one day you'll be hers.

Untitled 3.

{Today marks the day I cried with my friend.}

A familiar face, nothing more.
But when I close my eyes
I can still remember the memories we shared.

Those times when we laughed,
Not caring who heard.
And those moments we smiled,
Not saying a word.

We joked, laughed, talked.
All on the same subjects.
Our conversations were different,
Ranging from serious to hilarious topics.
We were happy.

Now, we pass by each other each day
Without any form of acknowledgement.
We've become strangers so fast,
It's a bit frightening don't you think?
It's as if the only way to tell
That we were once friends is from our memories.
Tell me, do you even remember them?

We once had a past together.
I'm not sure who broke it apart - was it me?
I just hope you didn't completely forget.
Even though I remember everything,
I'll act like I know nothing the next time I see you.

Please.

{Because I get this feel all the time and I can't.}

That smile, it kills me inside.

Don't direct it to another girl,

Only show that face when you're with me.

Almost like a child who receives a toy,

That look provides me sustenance, the energy to live.

It's become something I can't live without.

It's become something I want to keep with me.

But what if you start to show that smile,

A private expression between the two of us,

To another person?

She's prettier than me, smarter too.

She's everything I'm not – athletic, graceful, funny, you name it.

I wouldn't be surprised if you fell for her;

She has everything... You would look for in a girl.

It's like she's the majestic and beautiful swan

And I'm the ugly duckling in the stories and fantasies given to children.

Except this time, the ugly duckling doesn't have a happy ending.

Please, just don't be closer to her than you are to me.

Don't show her your secret facial expressions

Or the voices you make when it's just the two of us.

Don't include her in our inside jokes,

Or tell them to her first and exclude me.

Please... Don't replace me.

Tomorrow.

I'm tired of waiting for that
One special day where
I can finally see and speak to you,
That one day later in life where
You're right here, right beside me again.
Yet... Later never comes.


I long for the moment to go back to where
My eyes were transfixed on your back,
Your body blocking out the harsh and cruel
Things the world had to offer to me.
The protection, the shield that I need so desperately right now,
Where is it?


I yearn for the day when my world becomes balanced again.
When you're right by my side, within arm's reach.
I crave for those memories to become reality once more,
And for these tears to be replaced with smiles.
I wish for the day when I can joyfully call you my father again
Without the limitations of death to stop me.
If only I didn't want these things to happen so much.
Maybe then the "later" would come sooner.

Greetings.

A simple hello.

A wave here, a wave there.

These things don't make us friends.

If “friends” are made through greetings

That any person could do to anyone

They had met earlier in the years,

Doesn't that make everyone friends?

What would you call those friends

That are /truly/ your friends then?

Although I want to believe that

We are more than just acquaintances,

The fact that our interactions are

Nothing but greetings makes me

A bit nervous.

Maybe one of these days one of us

Will strike up a conversation in which
We can both chat and talk about our lives.

Friends to Acquaintances.

{Jghfuhf. My phone deleted the note I had of this again. TT TT. In other news, ugh. High school is starting. I'M GOING TO DIE-----}

I wonder how long it's been
Since I talked to you this way.
That familiarity we once had
Has long since disappeared due
To the passing time and
Our changing personalities.
How are you now?

We used to be friends,
But even the best of friends grow apart.
Our personalities and common interests
Changed, and finally, a rift was formed.
No longer were we "friends".
At most, we were now acquaintances.
Are your new friends nice?
Are you happier with them?
Although your current friends
Never accepted nor liked me, I'm just
Glad they liked you.

I may call you a hypocrite for
Becoming friends with
The people you vowed to never
Get close to and for changing
Your personality to "fit in"
With the popular kids but in truth... Aren't I the same?
I may nag about just how much
People shouldn't change but in
The long run, I do that more than anything.
In truth... I may just be the biggest hypocrite of all.

In this world, the only way to make friends
Is to either be yourself or to change yourself to suit their liking.
Although the first is the better option, the second
Is unfortunately, usually what most people pick.
In the end, you and I fell victims to society.

Dear friend, how are you now?
Now that time has passed, do we see eye to eye?
Are you finally showing your true self
In front of your current friends?
Or are you still a victim of society?

Words Never Whispered.

{My father died about a year ago. I thought that given the time, I had gotten over it, but I guess not? I'm not quite sure what happened... I just started crying at around 3:30am because of those memories. But I do know one thing: I regret not spending enough time with him. Part of it was because he worked constantly, and another part was because I was still a child; in my childish mind I thought he would never leave, even though I feared death because it had the power to take away my loved ones ever since I was five.}

I built myself to be so strong,
So indestructible under any circumstance.
Yet... Only one memory of you is
Enough to tear me apart.

We weren't close; in fact,
We were rather distanced.
Our conversations were neither
Deep nor meaningful - they were just...
Conversing placed between us.
Back then they were nothing, a daily occurence.
Yet now I hold them valuable,
Praying to never forget them.
If only I treasured them more back then.

The memories I have of you,
So strong yet weak to a certain extent,
Wise beyond your years, yet holding a child-like ease,
Are fleeting away from me.
No longer can I immediately think of your voice, your laugh...
I can only imitate it with uncertainty.

The photos of us together, less than a handful,
Are lost. Why did I not think of taking any?
Why was I so oblivious to this, only recognizing the want to now?

Why weren't we closer?
Was it because you were a workaholic, hoping to gain a better
Life for your children that you pushed us all away?
Or was it because I was a child you regret?
We had our moments, but I just wish there was more.

"I miss you, I love you.
Have a good day.
Good morning, good night."
Simple phrases that I miss saying... To you.
What onced seemed like a ritual is now
A want, a desire to be done.
I wish you could hear me, see me.
Then I could tell you all the things I had wanted to say,
All the things I keep bottled up, trapped, inside, me.
But now that can never be.
Now I can never say these words to you,
No matter how hard I try.

Seeing Through Layers.

Behind a human's smiling face is

A sad, frowning child.

But because we are all given skills

That are not out of this world,

None of us can tell when others are

Hiding their true emotions.

If only we, as people, were given

X-ray like vision in order to see

Through different layers of the human's mind.

Maybe then a different society would rise.

"Hello."

{I remember when I was younger, the first two friends I ever tried to be friends with completely blew me off. The first one trusted everyone /but/ me, and the second one tried to steal all of my friends and my crush. Because of their well... Bitchy attitude, I just repressed those memories. But at times, I wonder... How are they now? Do they still bare the "I'm better than you. Why should you have more friends? Why should I trust you?" attitude, or are they an entirely different person? And then, do they regret ever having met me? It's funny how my mind likes to dwell on questions that have no answers when I don't even remember one of the girl's name. xD}

One new message.

"Hello, how are you?"

An old acquaintance, a friend

From what seems as if a far away time.

An innocent question I'm sure, but

No matter how many times I roll it over in

My mind, I just can't shake off the memories

Of all that occurred before you broke off our communication.

Do I tell you all of it now? It's finally time to let it all out.

Staring at the blank screen, transfixed at the message and

The blinking cursor, I try my best to convey my emotions.

Although I want to tell them just how much

They have hurt my feelings, just how many

Sleepless nights I had over their betrayal,

My only response to their spontaneous message is,

"I'm fine. How have you been doing?"