Confessions of a Soldier

{I'M SORRY IF THIS ISN'T HOW A SOLDIER FEELS TO BE QUITE HONEST I DON'T KNOW /HOW/ THEY WOULD FEEL, PART OF WHAT HE FEELS IS WHAT I WOULD FEEL--- OTL. Anyways, this was stemmed from a close family friend going off to war again. Have you guys ever done that thing where you would write a letter to the person you hate/the thing that is bothering you, and then you destroy that very letter? ; w;. I did that once when I was younger. I have to say, it worked for me~}

Frank looked out the window of his apartment and he watched the sun creep its way into the sky. He stared on listlessly until the sun was right in front of him. Sighing, he stares back down at his table where a piece of lined paper lay. Resting his arm on the table, he picks up a pencil on the desk and begins to write.

I leave in a coupla hours. All of my stuff is packed, and I'm pretty much ready to go. I'm wasted from last night - maybe those vodkas weren't a good idea.Oh well, screw it, right? That was my last day. So what if I'm hung over! A couple of beers with my closest friends ain't gonna hurt anyone. 
Man, the place is gonna be sick. Women, beers, shooting - good combo? I've lived through my first deployment, I'm probably gonna live through this one, too. I've chosen the place I wanna go to in my free time - Thailand. It would be the perfect place to visit if I live.

Frank stopped writing and stared at the last sentence he had written. He chuckles, clearly forcing himself, and suddenly, his laughter stops. The smug grin he kept on his face drops, and suddenly, an expression of pure fear hit him. Shaking, he continues to write.

I've been told that these worries I have about being deployed back into war would go away if I were to write a letter to myself. A letter that no one else will see. A letter that I can write down all of my feelings about the war in. And here it is - that very letter. All I have left to say is this:

I don't want to die.

Signing his letter, Frank sealed it in an envelope addressed to himself with the date written in the top right corner. Grabbing a lighter off his nightstand, he takes that and the envelope to the balcony outside and engulfs the envelope in flames.

Dreaming

And it feels as if
the more I'm awake
the more
Life
feels like
a Dream.
For this life I dream of
Is in fact "better"
than my reality.
Waking up is
Hard, especially
when everything
Is perfect.

Rain Drops

The sky cried for you.
She shed her tears and offered her
condolences.
She sent a fall of cold droplets onto me
As if to trap me in her embrace.
And I thought, only for a second, I saw you.
Yes, in the center of the downpour,
You stood, resilient to the rain.
And along with the rain,
You disappeared once more.

The sky stopped crying,
And in place of her tears,
She left a vivid rainbow
With a smile
As bright as yours.

Flowers

{Long time no write! Hehe, I got bored on the bus last week.}

She strolled past me and I caught a whiff of her scent - the all too familiar smell of... just what exactly? Before I could catch it yet again, just like her, the smell dissipated into the sea of odors that lay ahead.

Her smell stuck by me for the entire day, driving my curious side insane. Her odor was faint, yet strong. Sweet, yet sour. Kind, yet painful, and so on and so forth. As I was contemplating just what it was, the scent wafted over to me, immediately gaining my attention. It captivated my presence and wrapped me in its embrace. I followed the lingering scent through the crowded hallways until I bumped into a dainty figure and fell.

"I'm so sorry, are you okay?!" She asked, her soothing voice clearly showing her concern. Her voice was like an angel's; it was unusually sweet, her sing-song voice hitting every nook and cranny of my heart. She offered a helping hand to me. The smell immediately surrounded me, trapping me in its strong clutch.

"I'm... I"m fine; thanks!" Hiding my face, I grabbed her hand and got up. We nodded our apologies. Glancing at her, I was entranced by her luscious brown hair and gorgeous grey eyes. Although it was  only for a split second, I was able to notice her in her entirety. Her figure was delicate; her shoulders small and her face slim. Her skin held a tint of ivory, yet still held the fairness and lightness of a baby. Before I could say another word, she had yet again disappeared from my sight, taking her scent with her.

And it dawned to me that the fragrance that I could never name was now clear - she had the fragrance of lavenders mixed with an undertone of tulips.

Us

And I'd be lying
If I said the thought of us
Never crossed my mind.

For you are now but
A bittersweet memory
Who, only through my memories,
Can I reach.

A Thousand Lives

I dreamed a thousand dreams,
Braved the turbulent seas,
And searched hundreds of miles
In order to bring you back to me.

Lived a thousand lives
And died nine hundred and ninety-nine times,
Ventured across the vast plains,
And swam around the great lakes.

I've seen you each time,
Whether it be coincidental or not.
Be it childhood friends or
Colleagues of the same employer,
We always wound up meeting.
I fell in love with you,
And I'd honestly like to believe you did too.

Alas, fate has not forsaken us.
Each life you died,
And I was left alone.
Other times I departed early,
And the order reversed.
Each time...
The last thing I would see of you
Would be your gentle smile
Telling me what I've always heard.

"Someday, we'll meet again.
Strangers or not,
We'll recognize each other.
Smile,
I love you."

Ah, the time of our thousandth meeting
Has finally arrived.

If I were to die soon after,
Just know that
My words are the same.
What will our next encounter be like?

Broken Strand

Somewhere along the lines
The strand keeping us together
Tore apart.
You changed, as did I.
By the time we realized
We had already become
Two such people unrecognizable
To the other.
It was far, far too late
To rewind time -
So we kept it as is.
Our sole connection was cut off.

Maybe someday
I'll mend the strand
And rekindle the friendship
We once had.