Tomorrow.

I'm tired of waiting for that
One special day where
I can finally see and speak to you,
That one day later in life where
You're right here, right beside me again.
Yet... Later never comes.


I long for the moment to go back to where
My eyes were transfixed on your back,
Your body blocking out the harsh and cruel
Things the world had to offer to me.
The protection, the shield that I need so desperately right now,
Where is it?


I yearn for the day when my world becomes balanced again.
When you're right by my side, within arm's reach.
I crave for those memories to become reality once more,
And for these tears to be replaced with smiles.
I wish for the day when I can joyfully call you my father again
Without the limitations of death to stop me.
If only I didn't want these things to happen so much.
Maybe then the "later" would come sooner.

Greetings.

A simple hello.

A wave here, a wave there.

These things don't make us friends.

If “friends” are made through greetings

That any person could do to anyone

They had met earlier in the years,

Doesn't that make everyone friends?

What would you call those friends

That are /truly/ your friends then?

Although I want to believe that

We are more than just acquaintances,

The fact that our interactions are

Nothing but greetings makes me

A bit nervous.

Maybe one of these days one of us

Will strike up a conversation in which
We can both chat and talk about our lives.

Slow Down.

{Sorry, I just realized this doesn't make sense. OTL. I'm really sick right now and can't think properly.}

Slow down,
Hold your breath.
Take in all the sights, smells,
And memories.
Close your eyes,
And listen.

Time goes by too fast.
Instead of worrying about
The past, make haste towards the future.
Petty regrets of the past are by far the worst,
And are the kinds you can't fix.
But instead of wondering, "I shouldn't have done that,"
Or, "What was I thinking?"
Change your thinking by
Improving yourself for the future.

Don't rush everything
For the sake of growing up.
To be honest, growing up isn't
That fun. Trust me, I had the the same mindset as you.
I'd... Give anything to turn back time.
In order for you not to have the same
Regrets as I do,
I just hope that you'll listen to me,
And not ignore me like the others.

Fear.

{Hi um high school stole me. Essays and tests consumed me. Friends kind of ditched me. Has never felt so out of place among people my age. I also caught a cold RIGHT when the second week of school started on Monday, so I think people think I'm permanently sick or something. Lawlawlawl. I keep having coughing fits in the middle of class and during lectures. And because of that, the boys who sit next to me in Health keep asking me if I'm alright. LOL. And I have what, three quizzes and one essay test tomorrow to finish. If I don't  finish the essay in time I get around 60-0%. HAHA NO PRESSURE RIGHT? No re-dos on the test either. Oh my-----}

If the use of fear was used against you,
How long could you last
Until you broke down
Because of that test of endurance?

Whether it be your biggest or
Your smallest fear could
You say with pride that you
Did not succumb to being
Crushed by your worst nightmares?

No matter how long you hold on,
There will always be something far worse
To scare you in the future.
The question is though:
Are you strong enough to
Pull through all of that?

Friends to Acquaintances.

{Jghfuhf. My phone deleted the note I had of this again. TT TT. In other news, ugh. High school is starting. I'M GOING TO DIE-----}

I wonder how long it's been
Since I talked to you this way.
That familiarity we once had
Has long since disappeared due
To the passing time and
Our changing personalities.
How are you now?

We used to be friends,
But even the best of friends grow apart.
Our personalities and common interests
Changed, and finally, a rift was formed.
No longer were we "friends".
At most, we were now acquaintances.
Are your new friends nice?
Are you happier with them?
Although your current friends
Never accepted nor liked me, I'm just
Glad they liked you.

I may call you a hypocrite for
Becoming friends with
The people you vowed to never
Get close to and for changing
Your personality to "fit in"
With the popular kids but in truth... Aren't I the same?
I may nag about just how much
People shouldn't change but in
The long run, I do that more than anything.
In truth... I may just be the biggest hypocrite of all.

In this world, the only way to make friends
Is to either be yourself or to change yourself to suit their liking.
Although the first is the better option, the second
Is unfortunately, usually what most people pick.
In the end, you and I fell victims to society.

Dear friend, how are you now?
Now that time has passed, do we see eye to eye?
Are you finally showing your true self
In front of your current friends?
Or are you still a victim of society?

Stormy Night.

The storm comes close,
The night becomes endless.
With no one to help comfort me,
I'll rely on the thunder to
Lull me away to my dreams.

Sleeping Position (Memory).

{I'm sorry for all of the father posts. OTL. This should pass relatively soon though; I'm feeling a bit emotional this month because of how his birthday was just five days ago. My father always had a habit of crossing his arms over his chest when he slept at night.}

    "Daddy, why do you sleep with your arms folded on your chest?"
    "It's so that if I die in my sleep I'll be prepared and presentable..."