Words Never Whispered.

{My father died about a year ago. I thought that given the time, I had gotten over it, but I guess not? I'm not quite sure what happened... I just started crying at around 3:30am because of those memories. But I do know one thing: I regret not spending enough time with him. Part of it was because he worked constantly, and another part was because I was still a child; in my childish mind I thought he would never leave, even though I feared death because it had the power to take away my loved ones ever since I was five.}

I built myself to be so strong,
So indestructible under any circumstance.
Yet... Only one memory of you is
Enough to tear me apart.

We weren't close; in fact,
We were rather distanced.
Our conversations were neither
Deep nor meaningful - they were just...
Conversing placed between us.
Back then they were nothing, a daily occurence.
Yet now I hold them valuable,
Praying to never forget them.
If only I treasured them more back then.

The memories I have of you,
So strong yet weak to a certain extent,
Wise beyond your years, yet holding a child-like ease,
Are fleeting away from me.
No longer can I immediately think of your voice, your laugh...
I can only imitate it with uncertainty.

The photos of us together, less than a handful,
Are lost. Why did I not think of taking any?
Why was I so oblivious to this, only recognizing the want to now?

Why weren't we closer?
Was it because you were a workaholic, hoping to gain a better
Life for your children that you pushed us all away?
Or was it because I was a child you regret?
We had our moments, but I just wish there was more.

"I miss you, I love you.
Have a good day.
Good morning, good night."
Simple phrases that I miss saying... To you.
What onced seemed like a ritual is now
A want, a desire to be done.
I wish you could hear me, see me.
Then I could tell you all the things I had wanted to say,
All the things I keep bottled up, trapped, inside, me.
But now that can never be.
Now I can never say these words to you,
No matter how hard I try.

Untitled.

{So I finally saw the video of the bus monitor being bullied by teenagers. I don't remember EVER being that rude when I was around their age. And even now I don't think I'm like that. Growing up I was taught to be respectful to elders, not call them a "fatass" or giving them the finger every second. If I wasn't respectful enough? A slap on the arm. Even if my parents' way of teaching was a bit... Harsh, it worked didn't it? At least I have the decency to be nice to the elderly. Although the whole thing may be resolved, or at the most semi resolved, now, those children still made a huge negative impact to society. No one should harass someone, regardless of age, because of their weight, sexuality, looks, or mentally challenged they are.}

There may be doubts,

There may be worries.

Although fear may overcome you

At the darkest of times, I just want you to

Be able to reach towards your dreams.

Don't worry about the others who may bring you down,

Rather, start thinking about what to do once you get to 

The finish line.

Acquaintance.

We aren't friends.

We are just acquaintances with a background.

In the past, the times we

Spent together were times to be valued,

But now that we've both grown up, our

Friendship has deteriorated into nothingness.

It may have been memorable in the past,
But now with the passing times and

Changing seasons, our time became wasted.

Maybe it was my fault, or was it yours?

No... It was both our faults; we let this happen, 

Knowing the consequences.

We let go of the one strand of friendship we

Both had left for each other, letting it fall downwards,

Into the deep abyss.

Whenever I look back at our times together,

A pang will appear in my heart but I will be able to brush it away.

But the regret and memories will always surface

Whenever I see your face.

The face of a mere person I used to

Be close to.

Seeing Through Layers.

Behind a human's smiling face is

A sad, frowning child.

But because we are all given skills

That are not out of this world,

None of us can tell when others are

Hiding their true emotions.

If only we, as people, were given

X-ray like vision in order to see

Through different layers of the human's mind.

Maybe then a different society would rise.

"Hello."

{I remember when I was younger, the first two friends I ever tried to be friends with completely blew me off. The first one trusted everyone /but/ me, and the second one tried to steal all of my friends and my crush. Because of their well... Bitchy attitude, I just repressed those memories. But at times, I wonder... How are they now? Do they still bare the "I'm better than you. Why should you have more friends? Why should I trust you?" attitude, or are they an entirely different person? And then, do they regret ever having met me? It's funny how my mind likes to dwell on questions that have no answers when I don't even remember one of the girl's name. xD}

One new message.

"Hello, how are you?"

An old acquaintance, a friend

From what seems as if a far away time.

An innocent question I'm sure, but

No matter how many times I roll it over in

My mind, I just can't shake off the memories

Of all that occurred before you broke off our communication.

Do I tell you all of it now? It's finally time to let it all out.

Staring at the blank screen, transfixed at the message and

The blinking cursor, I try my best to convey my emotions.

Although I want to tell them just how much

They have hurt my feelings, just how many

Sleepless nights I had over their betrayal,

My only response to their spontaneous message is,

"I'm fine. How have you been doing?"

Creating Our World.

{So I was at the library today! I was going upstairs when this Hispanic family of 5+ looked at me and the mother murmured, "Don't talk to her. She's dangerous." to her children, then proceeded to glare at me, even hushing her children when they tried to question her about what she had just said. Honey, I'm not planning to bomb America. I could care less about ruining this country. Also. I KNOW ENGLISH. I don't know why so many people believe that I don't understand a hint of English. -_-. This is the second time people have told their children not to talk to me because I'm apparently "dangerous". LOLOL. What ever happened to keeping those thoughts to yourself?}

Away from this destruction,

Away from this wasteland we call home,

Let's run away.

Instead of being part of this dystopian society,

Let's create our own perfect world,

A place we deem incredible.

Rather than fall under their rule, be commanded

To do their bidding each and every day,

I want to be able to run free on this vast land and

Be able to show my children this world I created -

Without the help of society's views to criticize it and

Shape it in to the world we know now.

Is that so much to ask for?

Languages.

{Top 10 languages I need to get better in/learn.

1. Cantonese. I'm so bad at it right now. I bet all of my cousins think that I forgot the language. xD.
2. Korean. Only because of Song Joong Ki. Andddd JB and JR. Ilovethosethree. @o@
3. Mandarin. Seriously, both my parents know this language, something that could be incredibly beneficial to our future, yet they decide to teach their children Cantonese?
4. Latin. Well... Just because. xD.
5. French. Same as above. I've always loved those two languages, so why not?
6. Hakka. Again, both of my parents know this. Why not teach it!?
7. Japanese. I actually have no reason for this, I guess so that it looks better in resumes? I'mfourteenwhyamIthinkingofjobs.
8. German. I'm turning more in to my brother. German is actually a pretty interesting language and well... If I do stick to my plans for college, I'll need it. ;-;
9. English. This may sound funny, but I do need to improve my English. I get so confused with the English language and there are some terms that I should know, but don't (ex. What is noon? What is dawn? I got math questions marked wrong because I didn't know what times those were).
10. Arabic. Again, better resume!

What are your top 10?}

The key to communication.

A vital necessity needed in this day and age.

In order to be familiar and work

Your way around this world, knowing

A universal language will be the utmost

Beneficial to your survival during your time here.

Whether it be for job interviews or day to day

Conversing, languages are set up in order to

Stop confusion during an oral conversation.

However, the line between right and wrong

For this language is blurred, deteriorating every

Second the language is used.

Why is this?

Can't we as humans learn to protect at least

One thing?

Why shorten the grammar and spelling simply

To save space?

Setting a bad example for future generations,

This once perfect language will now be in

Ruins, thanks to our current society of sloths.